STRAPPED IN: THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO STRAP-ON SEX

Guest written by Rain Andersen (@wearenotfriends_) a veteran sworker with nine years in adult entertainment and five years working for Lovers.

Have you ever wanted to have Strap-On sex? The Ultimate Guide to Strap-On Sex will explain how you can get started on your journey. 

QUICK LINKS:

1. What is a Strap-On?
2. What Type of People Have Strap-On Sex?
3. What Does Strap-On Sex Feel Like?
4. How to Pick the Perfect Strap-On
5. How to Use a Strap-On
6. The Best Beginner Strap-On Sex Toys

What is a Strap-On?

Strap-On’s are a style of Sex Toy that allow a person with a Vulva to penetrate their partner. Strap-On Sex typically involves some combination of a Strap-On Harness and a Dildo that can be used to provide hands-free, penetrative pleasure. Strap-On Harnesses and Dildos come in a variety of shapes and materials. As you gain confidence using a Strap-On, you can utilize different Dildos and Harnesses to customize your sensations.

What Type of People Have Strap-On Sex?

People of all genders enjoy Strap-On sex.

While many people associate Lesbians with Strap-On sex, they only make up a small demographic of the Strap-On user base. In fact, the first silicone Dildo (arguably one of the most important components of a Strap-On), was created to support disabled men who could no longer become erect. Take a look at some of the ways that people like to use Strap-On’s for sex, below:

• People With Erectile Dysfunction:
  May enjoy wearing a Strap-On to facilitate penetration or to elongate play.
• Cis-Men:
  May enjoy being penetrated by a Strap-On to stimulate their Prostate.
• Cis-Women:
  May enjoy being penetrated by a Strap-On Anally, while receiving Vaginal Penetration.
• Transgender People:
  May experience Gender Euphoria from wearing or using a Strap-On.
• Lesbian Women:
  May enjoy using a Strap-On to penetrate a partner with a Vulva.
• Swingers:
  May enjoy using a Strap-On in group settings to allow for double or triple penetration scenes.

What Does Strap-On Sex Feel Like?

Strap-On Sex can be a pleasurable experience for both the giver and the receiver. They can be used to stimulate the G-Spot, Prostate, Anus, and A-Spot of the person being penetrated. Strap-On’s can also provide stimulation to the wearer depending on the style of harness being used, or the type of Sex Toys that you choose to compliment them. Additionally, Strap-On’s Sex may provide a sense of Gender Euphoria for those who are wearing them.

How to Pick the Perfect Strap-On

The first step to finding your dream Strap-On is to determine your preferred style of Harness:

TYPES OF STRAP-ON HARNESSES

Strap-On-Me Medium Vibrating Strap-On, $139

• Traditional Strap-On Harnesses
  A traditional Strap-On refers to a personalized combination of Sex Toys: a Strap-On Harness + a Dildo. Many couples opt for this style of Strap-On because it allows them to customize and swap out Sex Toys based on their sexual preferences. Traditional Strap-On Harnesses can be stepped-into and adjusted to fit your body.
  
  PROS: Customizable, Easy to Share
  CONS: Time & Money to Invest in Your Collection

• Harness-Free Strap-On’s (Strapless Strap-On’s)
  A Harness-Free Strap-On is a Sex Toy with two insertable ends, designed to provide pleasure to the person being penetrated and the person providing the penetration. This style of Strap-On is usually curved on one end, which allows the toy to stay in place while stimulating the G-Spot. Harness-Free Strap-On’s can offer vibration, thrusting, sucking, and pulsing mechanisms!
  
  PROS: Pleasure for Two
  CONS: Pelvic Floor Strength Required
  

• Underwear-Style Harnesses
  An Underwear-Style Strap-On is a type of Harness that is used for Strap-On sex. They conform to the body and resemble a cute pair of underwear! These machine-washable Strap-On Harnesses are gaining popularity among people of all genders.
  
  PROS: Stylish & Sexy, Machine Washable
  CONS: Can Be More Difficult to Size
  
  
• Docking Harnesses
  A Docking Harness is a type of Strap-On Harness that does not require complicated O-Rings or Snaps. It is characterized by a large, silicone plate that allows a Dildo to be attached via suction.
  
  PROS: No Pesky Straps or Snaps, Easy to Use
  CONS: Bulky

You may want to try different styles of Strap-On Harnesses, to see which options feel most comfortable to you and your partner. Some Harnesses will include a built-in pocket, designed to hold your favorite Bullet Vibrator. Other Harnesses can be combined with a magnetic Panty Vibe or Wearable Egg Vibrator to add stimulation for the wearer.

TYPES OF DILDOS

 

Fun Factory Limba M Flex Dildo, $70

The size, texture, and material of your Dildo can alter your Strap-On experience. Depending on your goals, you may want to look at different styles of Dildos to accomplish different objectives. Take a look at the list below and consult your partner to see what style of Dildo sounds most arousing to them. Ultimately, the person being penetrated should have the primary say in the style of Dildo being used.

*Note that a Dildo must have a base in order for it to fit inside a Strap-On Harness

• Curved Dildos
  Ideal for G-Spot and Prostate stimulation.
• Thick Dildos
  Ideal for A-spot stimulation.
• Poseable Dildos
  Ideal for sharing with partners & creating a variety of different shapes.
• Thrusting Dildos
  Ideal for creating additional momentum.
• Vibrating Dildos
  Ideal for adding sensation to penetration.
• Hollow Dildos
  Worn over the penis, these Dildos can add length and firmness to your erections.
• Realistic Dildos
  Ideal for adding realism and texture.
• Glass Dildos
  Ideal for massaging the G-Spot or Prostate. Glass Sex Toys can be warmed up or cooled down, and they can be paired with any style of Lubricant.
• Fantasy Dildos
  Ideal for Roleplay.

How to Wear a Strap-On: 5 Tips for Seamless Thrusts

Let’s Face It: Strap-On Sex Requires Practice

Even if you have a Penis, it can be difficult to control a Strap-On. This is because Strap-On’s are an extension of our natural body. We can’t feel sensation in them and we can’t control their movements. Here are five tips for helping you to gain control over your Strap-On:

• Use Plenty of Lubricant
  When people use Strap-On Sex Toys, it can be difficult to decipher how a toy feels on the receiving end. To prevent friction and discomfort, pair your Strap-On Dildo with a good quality Lubricant.
  
  
• Wear Your Harness & Dildo Around the House
  Wearing a Strap-On Dildo and a Harness around your home can help you to become more accustomed to the weight and hang of your Sex Toy. As you become more comfortable with this sensation, it can become easier to control the direction and speed of your strokes during penetration.
  
  
• Have the Receiving Partner Sit or Back Up onto the Strap-On
  When a partner lowers themselves onto a Dildo, or backs their body up against it, it allows them to control the speed and depth in which they are penetrated.
  
  
• Use Your Hands to Control the Angle of Penetration:
  No one said that you had to do this hands-free! Use your hands to control the angle of your Dildo as you insert it. This will help to stabilize the Sex Toy and control the speed in which it is inserted.
  
  
• Experiment with Non-Penetrative Stimulation
  Though Strap-On’s are intended for penetrative sex, they can be used in non-penetrative ways, as well. Anyone new to Strap-On sex can experiment with non-penetrative forms of stimulation- such as rubbing a Dildo between their partners legs or grazing their Strap-On against their partner’s stomach.

The Best Beginner Strap-On Toys

Looking for great Strap-On recommendations for beginners? We’ve rounded up some of our most popular Beginner Dildos and Harnesses for Strap-On Sex. 

The Most Popular Beginner Dildos for Strap-On Sex & Pegging


Temptasia Twist Kit, $59.00
The Temptasia Twist Kit is perfect for Pegging, Anal Training, Dilation, and non-realistic penetration. The sturdy heart-shaped suction cup can be paired with a Harness or used hands free. Their unique shape and swirled texture deliver tantalizing stimulation, all while being body-safe and easy to clean.

Tantus Silk, $38.00
The Tantus Silk is the ideal Dildo for beginners! Thin, short, smooth, and gently curved, the Tantus Silk will have you feeling confident and comfortable in the bedroom. Use this harness compatible Dildo to explore your Strap-On Sex & Pegging fantasies.


Limba Flex Small, $65.00
This flexible Dildo can bend into any shape you desire! Equipped with a suction cup base and a poseable wire core, the Limba Flex collection can used to satisfy anyone's preferences. Select from three graduated Dildo sizes, and adjust the head to give yourself an erotic G-Spot or Prostate massage.

The Most Popular Beginner Strap-On Kits


The New Comers Kit, $49.00
This Harness fits hips up to 60 inches and has a cinching feature for additional adjustments. It comes with a modestly sized, 5.5" x .87" Dildo, and a flexible O-Ring that can accomidate Dildos up to 1.25" in Diameter.

The Everlaster Wishbone Hollow Strap-On Kit, $48.00
This Harness is perfect for extending your erotic encounters! Slide the Wishbone over the Penis to lengthen your sessions and provide deeper, firmer penetration.
 This 4-way adjustable Harness keeps comfort in mind with ergonomic clearance for the Testicles. Our product testers loved it and said it changed their sex lives! 


The Whipsmart Glow-In-The-Dark Pegging & Strap-On Kit, $82.00
This kit comes with three, glow-in-the-dark, suction cup Dildos and a matching Harness, perfect for partnered or solo exploration. Use this Harnesses adjustable straps to find your perfect fit... the simple, Snap-On O-Rings will keep things secure while you play.

Ready to Start Exploring?

Shop Strap-On Sex

Further Readings:
Experimenting Your Way to More Pleasure: Dipsea Stories
The Science of Sexual Arousal: American Psychological Association
The Definitive Guide to Micro Expressions: Science of People

WITH PLEASURE, 

LOVERS