Dana (@danathehardway) is the lead copywriter for Lovers. She is passionate about writing, allyship, sex-positivity, and telling good jokes.

You’re here because you’re curious about the prostate. We don’t blame you! This often-forgotten pleasure zone can produce mind-blowing, body shuddering orgasms. Although only experienced by people assigned male at birth, that doesn’t mean that others can’t get involved in the action! 


  1. What is the Prostate?
  2. Where is the Prostate?
  3. How Do You Find the Prostate Muscle?
  4. What Does a Prostate Orgasm Feel Like?
  5. How to Stimulate the Prostate
  6. The Best Beginner Prostate Toys

We know that anything around butt play comes with its fair share of stigma and fear, but we are here to say that prostate (P-spot) orgasms are pretty life-changing. A note before beginning: make sure to use some lube, communicate, and go slow. 

What is the Prostate? 

The prostate is a gland (roughly the size of a walnut) responsible for secreting a fluid that helps nourish and protect sperm. The urethra (which carries both semen and urine) runs through the prostate, so when one ejaculates, the prostate helps to expel semen.

Where is the Prostate?

The prostate muscle rests between the bladder and the penis, just in front of the rectum. It is located approximately 2-3" inches inside the anus.

How Do I Find My Prostate?

The most direct way to locate the prostate is through the anus. Alternatively, you can stimulate it directly through the perineum- or taint, the skin that runs underneath the scrotum to the anus. When you’re aroused, the gland will swell and is easier to find - it almost feels like a large marble.

What Does A Prostate Orgasm Feel Like?

Prostate orgasms are said to feel similar to penile orgasm but are described as more intense and full-bodied. Something to note: not everyone ejaculates from a p-spot orgasm, but some may secrete a milky fluid from the urethra. This act of “milking” creates prostatic fluid, or ejaculate without sperm.

How to Stimulate the Prostate

  • The “Come Here”
    Slowly insert your lubed and gloved index finger into the anus and curl your finger upward in a “come here” motion toward the belly button. Repeat the motion as you gradually increase your speed.

  • Circling
    Use the pad of your finger and place it all around the prostate, circling your way around the entirety of it. Mix it up by changing the speed and pressure with the combination that feels best.

  • The “Doorbell”
    Place the pad of your finger against the outside of the prostate and gently press as if you were ringing a doorbell. We encourage using different pressures and intervals to mix it up and find the sweet spot.   

The Best Beginner Sex Toys For Prostate Play

Sex toys are extremely helpful with accessing your p-spot, especially since you can utilize various vibration settings, pressure, and depth. 

The We-Vibe Vector prostate massager is adjustable for a custom fit that massages you until completion. The tapered tip on this comfortable plug allows for easy insertion, with an adjustable shaft that gives you the perfect fit. This vibe comes with a remote that cycles the whisper-quiet motor through the ten vibration settings. Bonus: the base extends forward to arouse your perineum!
We-Vibe Vector+ ($139.00)

The Galaxy Wand is another fun option for those interested in stimulating their prostate. This body safe, borosilicate glass toy can be coupled with your favorite lubes and stimulates to add an exciting layer of sensation to your anal experience. The Galaxy Wand come equipped with a long handle for controlled strokes, with two exciting, ends to choose from!

The Le Wand Stainless Steel Hoop Massager is loved by beginners and connoisseurs alike, due to it's bulky, 1.39 pound weight. The Le Wand Hoop is designed to add the perfect amount of pressure to the prostate, with two delicious, textured ends to choose from. Made from body safe stainless steel, the Hoop Wand can be paired with your favorite lubes and stimulants.

Le Wand Hoop ($145.00)

No beginner pegging experience is complete without the Sportsheets New Comers Strap On Kit. This set includes everything you need to locate your prostate with the help of a partner. The Newcomers Kit includes one of our slimmest and shortest strap on compatible dildos, perfect for anyone new to anal penetration.

Want more great sex tips?
Follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube: @LoversStores

Further Readings:

How to Milk the Prostate: VICE 
A Guide to Urethral Sounding: VICE
What is External Prostate Massage: Lovegasm



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