Guest written by Rain Sunae (@wearenotfriends_), Lovers Community Manager and an In-House Educator. Rain leverages her experience as a retired sex worker to educate and inspire others, with her writing featured in prominent publications including Women's Health, Sexual Health Magazine, and HypeBae. You can follow along with her work at www.makeitrainsunae.com
Thinking about buying your first Sex Toy? Sex Toys are an incredible way to enhance partnered experiences and understand what brings you pleasure! This guide will help you to build confidence in your purchases by explaining the different styles of Vibrators available to you.
QUICK LINKS:
- Do People Actually Use Sex Toys?
- Popular Styles of Sex Toys: Bullet Vibrators
- Popular Styles of Sex Toys: Rabbit Vibrators
- Popular Styles of Sex Toys: Wand Vibrators
- Popular Styles of Sex Toys: G-Spot Vibrators
- Popular Styles of Sex Toys: Thruster Vibrators
- Popular Styles of Sex Toys: Air Pulsator Vibrators
- How to Introduce Sex Toys to a Partner
Do People Actually Use Sex Toys?
Yes, a significant number of people use Sex Toys. A 2017 study revealed that around 80% of American women, over the age of 18 have a vibrator, highlighting the popularity of these devices and suggesting a growing acceptance toward individual pleasure and self-exploration worldwide.
Types of Sex Toys: Vibrators 101
A Vibrator is a device designed to enhance your sexual pleasure, with tailored intensity levels and vibration frequencies. The frequency of your Vibrator can range from high-pitched and buzzy, to rumbly and penetrating, depending on the size of the motor and material of your Sex Toy. Let’s begin by identifying some of the categories that Vibrators fall into:
What Is a Bullet Vibrator?
Bullet vibrators are a popular style of Sex Toy for beginners due to their size and portability. They can be used to provide external stimulation to the Clitoris, Nipples, Penis, and the opening of the Vagina.
Image of the Limited Addition Bullet
Bullets are an excellent staple for anyone’s Sex Toy collection; perfect for holding between bodies or accessing hard-to-reach erogenous zones. Sometimes referred to as a lipstick vibrator or mini vibe, these Vibrators are a great way to enhance foreplay, travel sex, and oral sex. Some of our favorites include the We-Vibe Tango X, the Playboy Pleasure Twists of Fate, Lovers Just the Tip Set, and the FemmeFun Bougie Aluminum Bullet.
PRO TIP: Bullets can also be circular! A pebble shaped bullet is a popular starting point for beginners because it can sit against your palm, acting as a natural extension of your hand. We recommend the We-Vibe Touch X and Fun Factory Laya II.
What is a Rabbit Vibrator?
“Rabbit Vibrator” is a term used to describe a Sex Toy with two motors, that can simultaneously stimulate the internal and external parts of the Vulva or Anus. Thanks to modern innovation, you can find Rabbit Vibrators that feature different textures, silhouettes, and vibration intensities that appeal to you.
First time toy buyers know that every body is shaped differently- and because of this, it can be challenging to find a Rabbit that lines up with all your favorite ‘spots.’ When looking for your first Rabbit, opt for something soft and flexible. Softer textures can be bent closer or further away from your body, ensuring that every piece of your toy matches up with your body. We recommend the Fun Factory Lady Bi and the Satisfyer Magic Bunny.
PRO TIP: Harder materials are able to hold and transfer stronger vibrations. That’s why Glass and Steel Sex Toys are so popular! Use this knowledge to help you find your perfect Sex Toy.
What is a Wand Vibrator?
A Wand is a powerful vibrating massager designed to stimulate the outside of your body. These ultra-strong and rumbly Sex Toys have some celebrity-status, thanks to their many notable supporters. Some Wand Vibrators are meant to be held in your hand, some of them can thrust, and some are small enough to insert into the Vagina- but they all share one commonality: the ability to produce mind-blowing orgasms.
Image of the Magic Wand Rechargeable
Though some people would argue that a Wand is too powerful for "a mere beginner," they can be much easier to operate and much more versatile then other styles of Sex Toys. Wands generally have fewer buttons, they’re ambiguously shaped, and they are large enough to grip without triggering hand cramps or discomfort. With so many people giving their endorsements for Wands, I think it’s safe to say that the only risk of using a Wand Vibrator is having bigger and louder orgasms. Some of our favorites include the Fun Factory Vim Wand, the Lovers Wonder Wand, and the Original Magic Wand.
PRO TIP: A Wands size can be indicative of its strength. Though not always the case, larger sized Wands will typically house larger and more powerful motors.
What is a G-Spot Vibrator?
A G-Spot Vibrator is a Sex Toy designed to stimulate the erogenous zones located inside the Vagina and Anus. With a G-Spot Vibrator, you can locate and stimulate areas of the body that would otherwise be difficult to reach. For people with Vulvas, we call this area the Gräfenberg Spot, an innervated cluster of tissue that lives along the anterior vaginal wall, approximately 2-3 inches inside the Vagina. For people with Penises, we call this area the Prostate, a gland located approximately four inches inside the rectum that helps to propel semen and ejaculate. You can find products that were designed specifically for exploring your G-Spot & Prostate by looking for Sex Toys with a curved silhouette. Some of our favorites include the LELO Gigi 2, the We-Vibe Rave, and Satisfyer Yummy Sunshine.
PRO TIP: If you plan to use a Rabbit for Prostate stimulation, make sure that it has a clearly defined flare or base. At Lovers, you can view more details about a product by toggling the right hand drop down menu on any product page. This menu will list if the product is safe to use of Anal stimulation.
What is a Thruster Vibrator?
Thrusters are a type of Sex Toy designed to mimic the sensations of penetrative sex. They may appeal to people who have a limited range in mobility, or who have difficultly staying present by eliminating some of the labor involved with manual stimulation. Thrusters allow you to focus on the sensations your experiencing, rather than a specific combination of buttons- adding a layer of realism to your sexual experiences.
Image of the Lovers Joy Stick Thruster
Thrusting Wands, Rabbits, and Anal Plugs utilize this technology to stimulate different areas of the body and facilitate hands-free exploration. Some of our favorites include the Unbound Clutch, the Lovers Joy Stick Thruster, and the Honey Playbox Joi Thrust 2.
PRO TIP: Looking for a realistic experience? Magnetic Thrusters will provide a nice, full-bodied thrusts, while Accordion Thrusters offer greater range of motion.
What is an Air Pulsator?
If you are sensitive to direct stimulation, an Air Pulsator could be a great fit for you! Pulsators use small bursts of air to provide indirect stimulation the Clitoris, Nipples, and Frenulum- recreating some of the micro contractions that occur naturally during an Orgasm. Some of our favorite Air Toys include the Womanizer Next, the We-Vibe Melt, and the Rosegasm Air Suction Vibe.
A 2017 Pilot Study reported that this style of Sex Toy is a highly effective treatment for Perimenopausal, Menopausal, and Post-Menopausal Women who would like to improve their sexual function and quality of life. The study, which utilized the Womanizer Air Toy revealed that:
- 100% of participants experienced an Orgasm
- 86% experienced an Orgasm between 5-10 minutes
- 86% believe the Sex Toy improved their sexual response
- 73% reported they were more than satisfied with the intensity of their Orgasm
PRO TIP: Lift the hood of the Clitoris (the small prepuce of skin that sits over your Clitoris) before placing your Pulsator against it. This creates a seal around the erogenous zone, allowing for 360 degrees of contact.
With these great insights, we hope that you'll feel more confident with finding the perfect Sex Toy for your goals, budget, and lifestyle! Looking for more 101 content? You can find our favorite 101-Guidebooks on the Lovers Blog.
How to Introduce Sex Toys to a Partner
Introducing Sex Toys to a partner can raise some serious questions: What if I offend my partner? Is it possible for a Vibrator to emasculate someone? How do you pick out a Sex Toy? How do you use a Sex Toy? All of these questions are valid. To navigate this discussion with confidence, it can be helpful to communicate your intentions clearly and respectfully.
Communication & Consent
Consent is an important component to any intimate encounter. For this reason, it can be helpful to discuss your sexual preferences with your partner(s), even if it feels awkward or uncomfortable. You might initiate this conversation by saying, "I think it would be sexy if we," rather than referencing or criticizing previous encounters. By fostering an open dialogue and addressing your partner's concerns, you can cultivate a fulfilling connection that caters to both of your desires.
TLDR
👉 Highlight how your fantasies include your partner
👉 Stress the importance of shared intimacy
👉 Keep the focus on the present
👉 Avoid criticisms & comparisons
👉 Foster an open dialogue by acknowledging their concerns
Research
Once you have communicated your desires and received consent from your partner, you can begin researching the type of Sex Toys you'd like to use together. This can be a fun and rewarding experience for couples, that sets the stage for more erotic encounters.
You might consider asking...
👉 What type of sensations do you enjoy?
👉 Where are your favorite places to be touched?
👉 What are our sexual goals? (eg. Prolong Sex, Heighten Pleasure, etcetera)
👉 How & where do I plan to use my Sex Toy? (eg. Shower, Travel, etcetera)
These questions can help you to narrow down your selection and discover products that compliment both your fantasies and your lifestyle. Don't let yourself feel intimidated by the crazier styles of Sex Toys; if you find a Vibrator that makes your eyes pop out of your head, there's a good chance it will make your eyes roll to the back of your head, too.
TLDR
👉 Don't be afraid or intimidated to try different Sex Toys
👉 If it's crazy looking... it's probably worth it
Product Testing
Testing your Vibrator in a nonsexual setting can help you to understand it's full potential. Take a moment to familiarize with your new Sex Toys, check their charge, replace their batteries, and explore each setting programmed into your toy.
An important thing to note: if a product doesn't specify that it is safe for Anal Stimulation, DO NOT USE IT for Anal Stimulation. This could lead to an emergency visit and a steep medical bill if a Sex Toy can not be safely removed from the body. As always, communication is key to safe and pleasurable encounters.
TLDR
👉 Get to know your toys before using them
👉 Don't put Sex Toys in your butt unless it is designed to go in your butt
Playing With Your New Sex Toy
Using a Sex Toy with a partner can be an exhilarating experience! To make this encounter more satisfying, we recommend checking in with your partner (and yourself) throughout the entire experience.
Ask each other what sensations feel best, experiment with different toy settings, and provide each other with praise and encouragement. Phrases like "I get so turned on when you... with this toy" can help to position Sex Toys as a supporting character to your encounters, rather than a source of competition.
If you are still feeling unsure about using a Sex Toy with a partner, consider a few solo sessions to open yourself up to the amazing sensations that they can provide.
TLDR
👉 Using Sex Toys with a partner can be super hot
👉 Checking in with yourself & your partner can enhance your experience
👉 Making a connection between your partner, your toy, and your pleasure can help ease anxiety over Sex Toys
👉 Solo masturbation can be a great way to familiarize yourself with a Sex Toy
Further Readings:
A Beginners Guide to Introducing Sex Toys to the Bedroom: Lovers
A Beginners Guide to Using Sex Toys: Good House Keeping
How to Use a Vibrator: Lioness
