Dana (@danathehardway) is the lead copywriter for Lovers. She is passionate about writing, allyship, sex-positivity, and telling good jokes.

Communication and comfort are the bedrock of pleasure.

QUICK LINKS:

1. Do People Actually Use Sex Toys?
2. How to Introduce a Sex Toy to a Partner
3. Our Favorite Couples Sex Toys

Do People Actually Use Sex Toys?

Yes, they do! In fact, a reported 80% of female U.S. 18+ females have a vibrator at home. While some may opt to use this for a pleasurable, solo experience, it’s also enjoyable to think outside the toy box, and use it to spice things up with your partner(s). 

Naturally, the idea of introducing a sex toy into the bedroom sounds a bit daunting and raises questions. What if my partner rejects the idea? What if they get offended? How do I know if I chose the right toy? And so on. We completely understand, but remember, just like any form of intimacy, communication and comfort are the bedrock of pleasure. So, below are our top tips for getting started!

How to Introduce Sex Toys to a Partner

1. Communication and Consent
   The initial step in any intimate scenario is *drum roll* consent! Talking it out might feel awkward at first, but breaking the ice and letting your partner know how you feel helps open up the conversation and ease how they feel. Verbalizing your desires also helps you get more in tune with what you want and lets them comfortably express their needs too! 
   
   It’s key to discuss this in a way that includes them by emphasizing how you imagine the shared intimacy. Drive the conversation by focusing on the present rather than comparing past experiences with phrases such as, "I think it would be sexy if we…” versus “Before when we...it wasn’t…” 
   
   When you let the conversation flow, focus on the newness and possibilities of your sensation, you’ll be able to reach a satisfying connection within both of your desires.
   

   It’s natural to feel nervous- this is exciting!

2. Toy Research 
   Once you’ve clearly communicated, the next part is the fun of discussing what sex toys you’d like to experiment with. To start, think about the parts and types of stimulation you want to feel!
   
   A great introductory toy is a bullet vibe- small, compact, and a great first step if you simply want to try things out smoothly. It can be used to stimulate the clitoris, nipples, balls and many other erogenous zones.
   
   Or, if you want something that can be used in more than one scenario, try a body wand massager. These are great for relieving tension everywhere, even the nerves you might be feeling from trying out toys for the first time!
   
   The idea of sex toys is not limited to vibrators alone, there are many other accessories with their own unique sexual benefits to try. A cock ring is a great option for couples who simply want to prolong playtime or want more intense orgasms. Another great option is to try a simple set of handcuffs or a blindfold. Relinquishing control over to a partner can not only be enticing but incredibly erotic. 
   
   
3. Safety is Key!
   Before bringing your sex toy to bed (or wherever you aim to experience pleasure), get to know the product and how it works! Check if it needs batteries or a charge, and test out its features in a nonsexual setting to understand its potential. Proper usage is a must!
   
   An important note: if something doesn't specify it is safe for your anal cavity, don't try stimulating your anal cavity. This could lead to an emergency visit to your doc, and the steep bills that come with it (ouch!). But if it is, use a compatible lube to ensure safe backdoor play. As always, communication is one of your most beneficial sexual practices.
   
   
4. Play
   Now that you’ve prepped, it’s time to get down and play around. Check in with yourself and your partner(s) throughout to see what feels good, or what to try. Don’t hesitate to keep up the talking and mention how you feel during intimacy. If you want to switch things up, try phrases along the lines of “This feels good, can we try it here…” or “It’s hot when you use… on my…” Connecting you, the toy, and your partner(s) helps bring the experience together and creates an excitingly erotic sensation.
   
   If you’re unsure about starting or introducing a toy with a partner, we recommend using it during solo play to get to know it - explore and discover what brings YOU pleasure! Enjoy the sexual adventure of playing with a toy and the amazing sensations that it can bring you. 

Our Favorite Couples Sex Toys

We-Vibe Melt, ($149.00)

This powerful, app-compatible sex toy uses PleasureAir Technology to stimulate 360-degrees of the clitoris. Experience pinpoint pleasure with the Melt's easy button navigation and built-in diaphragm. Born from the Womanizer family, the We-Vibe Melt is the sleek and compact sister to this world renowned product. Use this sex toy for heart-pumping solo or partnered play, with 12 whisper-quite settings to choose from. This innovative sex toy is made from body-safe silicone and is 100% submersible for your peace of mind.

Oxballs Ultraball Cock Ring 2-Pack, ($14.50)

Lovers Wonder Wand, ($84.00)

Looking for improved control without sacrificing power? The Lovers Wonder Wand is a powerful but petite massager, perfect for holding between bodies. 50% smaller than a full-size wand, the Lovers Wonder Wand is the ideal massager for solo and partnered exploration.

Lovers Anal Plug Training Kit, ($39.00)

Discover the delicious sensation of anal play with this three-piece training kit that offers gradual size increases so you can take your time discovering this special kind of satisfaction! Creamy smooth silicone reduces friction and glides easily with lubricant, while the slight flexibility in the handle moves with your body so you can focus solely on pleasure!

Further Reading

Sex Toys for Couples: Refinery29
How to Bring Sex Toys into the Bedroom : Self
How to Introduce Sex Toys into your Relationship: Elite Daily 

With Pleasure,

LOVERS