LOVERS PLEASURE UNIVERSITY: KINK & BDSM 101

Guest written by Rain Andersen (@wearenotfriends_), a marketing and e-commerce coordinator for Lovers. Rain is a retired sex worker, pleasure advocate, and sexual wellness expert. Rain has worked in the adult entertainment industry for eight years and in the adult retail industry for four years.

If any category of play required a warning label, it’s BDSM. BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism, which encompasses a wide umbrella of sexual activities like spanking, roleplay, edging, and consensual forced orgasms. For some people, BDSM is a lifestyle- a community that allows people to express themselves in both sexual and non-sexual contexts. For others, BDSM offers a sense of adventure and escapism from our normal sexual routines. However you like to get involved, it's important to make sure that you (and any other participants) are excited and informed about the types of activities you have planned. You can read more about BDSM safety tips and psychology in our blogs on Why Pain Can Be Pleasurable, The Basics of Scripting a BDSM Scene, and a Beginners Guide to Restraints.

QUICK LINKS:

  1. Sensation Play
  2. Impact Play
  3. Impact Items
  4. Restraints

Kink & BDSM 101

Shop Beginner BDSM

What is Sensation Play?

Sensation play is a series of activities that are designed to enhance physical sensation. There are a variety of different tools that can be useful for creating and enhancing different sensations. Sensation wheels and feather ticklers are popular sensation products for beginners because they focus on creating gentler, more ticklish sensations. You can enhance this style of play by incorporating a blindfold or restraints. By restricting movement and cutting off access to certain senses, we can magnify other, competing sensations.

PRO TIP: When it comes to kink products- price matters. Take your time exploring different styles of impact items and restraints. As you start to learn more about how your body responds to sensation and restriction, you can better refine your collection and locate the products that will last you a lifetime.

What is Impact Play?

Impact play or spanking, refers to the act of striking another person. Spanking is intended to be an act of pleasure for both the individual being spanked, and the individual providing a spanking. Impact play can occur in both sexual and non-sexual situations, and typically highlights a power dynamic between two individuals. 

PRO TIP: SSSC stands for safe, sane, sober, and consensual. This acronym acts as a checklist for basic BDSM safety, ensuring that your activity is safe, that you understand your physical limitations, that you can make an informed decision to participate, and that you enthusiastically consent. Make sure to ask your partner if they are SSSC before initiating any BDSM-related activities.

What are the Best Impact Items for Beginners?

There are several different styles of impact play items to choose from. Some of the most popular devices used for impact play include whips, crops, paddles, floggers, and canes. Beginners to impact play might enjoy using paddles with a wide and cushioned surface. The wider the spanking surface, the more spread out the sensation will be. A crop can also be a great place to begin exploring impact play. These quick and snappy spanking devices create a sharp and stingy sensation that is focused on the area of impact. They are not quite as intense as a cane, and more focused than a flogger- making them an excellent option for beginners.

PRO TIP: Different materials can create different sensations. Silicone, acrylic, wood, and genuine leather can be more painful than materials like Vegan leather, jute, or fabric. Using different combinations of these materials, like a fabric-lined, wooden paddle, can create a unique mixture of sensations.

What are the Best Restraints for Beginners?

A simple pair of handcuffs or under the bed restraints can help you to determine if you enjoy being restrained. Start with a set that can be easily removed or stowed away… many of our beginner cuff sets will use a Velcro closure to assist in a quick removal, should anyone change their mind during play. Leather and neoprene restraints can be cleaned and wiped down with a wet cloth, while cloth restraints can be tossed into your washing machine to be sanitized. Some of our favorite beginner cuffs include the Thigh & Wrist Cuff Set, the Sports Cuff, and the Sportsheets Special Edition Bed Restraints. You can learn more about different styles of restraints in our blog, A Beginners Guide to Restraints.

PRO TIP: Not too tight! Place one finger between the skin and your restraints to ensure good circulation, and never leave your restrained partner unattended.

With these great insights, we hope that you'll feel more confident with finding the perfect adventure items for your goals, budget, and lifestyle! Looking for more 101 content? You can find our favorite 101-Guidebooks in our blog, A Modern Sex Education.


Want more great sex tips?
Follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube: @LoversStores

Further Readings:

A Beginners Guide to BDSM: Women's Health Magazine
What, Why, and How we BDSM: Bad Girls Bible
BDSM from A to Z: GQ Magazine

WITH PLEASURE,

LOVERS