A STUDENT GUIDE TO MASTURBATING IN COLLEGE

Co-authored by Dana Humke, Rain Andersen, and Missy Modell from Lovers. 

The quintessential college dorm fantasy includes the idea of immense freedom. If you’ve actually ever lived in a dorm, you know that’s not really how it works (shop our collection of whisper quiet vibrators here). The truth is, yes, you’re finally doing whatever you want, except that in a dorm room, you’re doing it roughly 6 feet (or less) from another person who may or may not be a stranger. All the time. That means in those moments when you really need to be alone, like when you want to masturbate, figuring out how to make that happen can be a whole different sort of orientation your guidance counselor won’t mention.

Consider this your guide book to getting off on campus. 

QUICK LINKS:

  1. The Best Places to Masturbate on Campus
  2. The Quietest Vibrators for Masturbation
  3. How to Make Time for Self-Care in College
  4. How to Build the Ultimate Hook Up Kit

THE BEST PLACES TO MASTURBATE ON CAMPUS

Location, location, location. It’s true for a lot of things... including self-pleasure. One of our experts (i.e. people we know who lived in dorms) shared their own challenges with finding the perfect location to rub one out:

“I was extremely sexually frustrated the first half of my freshman year of college, and it 100% contributed to some of my regretful hookup choices. Once I finally realized I could *gasp* masturbate? In an efficiency triple dorm room? My world changed. My favorite ways to sneak a quick-o in included: stealthily rubbing one out under the covers, a suction cup dildo & some solid lube in the shower, and, possibly the hardest one, asking for alone time.”
- Seattle University Graduate, 24 Years Old

Improvisation is the name of the game when it comes to masturbating on campus, so to reduce that lift we've identified six prime locations for getting off.

The Top 6 Locations to Masturbate on Campus:

  • Under the Covers: This method works best in the dark while your roomie is (hopefully) sleeping.
  • In the Shower: This one works well thanks to a relative amount of privacy that the bathroom provides, and the sound of the water offering a good amount of noise cancellation.
  • Inside a Bathroom Stall: This one might not appeal to everyone, but we listed it for the privacy it provides. According to a recent survey, about 39% of people have admitted to rubbing one out inside a bathroom stall.
  • In Abandoned Sections of the Library: It’s a cliché, yes, but it wouldn’t be so well known if it wasn’t true! Just keep an eye out for passerby's, or you may land yourself with an unwanted expulsion. 
  • Consider a Room Divider: This is dependent on the size of your dorm, but can offer the illusion of more alone time. When paired with an ultra-quiet vibrator, no one will be the wiser.
  • Use a White Noise Machine: This isn’t a location, but might help with covering the noise of your vibrator. White noise machines are an affordable way to mask the sound of your sex toys, but can also come in handy for study sessions or snoring roommates.
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    THE QUIETEST VIBRATORS FOR MASTURBATION

    College is a place where students come to learn new trades, explore new relationships, and develop the skills they need to operate successfully in the larger world. Sexual preferences and identities can come into focus as students balance the sudden freedom and responsibility that comes with living on campus. In 2021, students have more options for navigating their sexuality than ever before. Sex toys are more widely accepted and available to college students, and thanks to recent innovation: they are extra quiet now, too. No one needs to know about your secret (unless you want them to) with the help of these whisper quiet pleasure devices.

    Dame Kip ($85)

    The Dame Kip bullet is the perfect starter vibe for exploring your body! A thick and pillowy layer of silicone mitigates noise and invites touch. Discover new sensations with the Dame Kip’s soft, triangular ridges, designed to envelop your favorite erogenous zones in vibration. This powerful, waterproof vibrator won’t raise any eyebrows this semester… simply stow it away inside a pencil case and watch it blend-in seamlessly with your other school supplies.


    We-Vibe Jive
    ($119)

    If there is one thing we learn in college: it’s time management. Between finals, rush, and a slew of very important parties to attend, when does one find time for self-care? The We-Vibe Jive is an egg-style vibrator designed for long term wear and public play. Adjust the Jive’s settings directly from your phone or hand the controls over to your S.O. for extra credit. The Jive works silently to massage and strengthen your pelvic floor while gently stimulating the G-Spot. The Jive is the ultimate multitasker- perfect for foreplay, Kegel exercises, and long distance control.

    The Fun Factory Sundaze is one of our quietest internal vibrators, thanks to its built-in magnetic thruster. The Sundaze’s gentle thrusting mechanism is designed to mimic the sensation of a penis without generating additional noise. Compact, waterproof, and shaped to target your G-spot, the Sundaze Thruster is the ideal campus companion.


    VEDO Bump Plus
    ($62)

    This vibrator is shaped to bring pleasure to any body! A slim, tapered tip, and flexible curved base are ideal for long term wear and public play. Use the accompanying remote control to transition seamlessly between settings, or hand the remote to a partner for erotic long distance play. Perfect for parties, lectures, or hands free masturbation, the Bump Plus plug is one our quietest anal vibrators.

    There are still plenty of options (of the non-vibrating variety) for students to explore while on campus. Dildos, strokers, and cock rings are all popular ways to enhance your sexual experiences. If we’re being honest with ourselves, hooking up is always going to be louder and more obvious than the buzz of a vibrator. Quiet sex toys are ideal for added privacy, but in a vote for upfront sex positivity, let’s just own the noise that comes from taking care of ourselves (though moaning loudly when you orgasm might be a bit more obvious than just the buzz, so consider that optional).

     

    HOW TO NEGOTIATE TIME FOR SELF-CARE

    Between class, a busy social calendar, and simply adjusting to college life, it can feel nearly impossible to squeeze in time for self-care!

    “In college, my roommate and I had really similar schedules, so it was so difficult to ever have some free time alone. I would literally sneak in a session when she went downstairs to check the mail, or wait until she was sleeping and quietly masturbate under my covers. Halfway through freshman year, I got a boyfriend, which made things even more challenging! He had two roommates, so my room was always the better option. Luckily, by that point, my roommate and I developed a close enough relationship where I would ask for some ‘solo time.’ Communicating openly entirely changed everything for the better!”
    - Skidmore College Graduate, 34 Years Old

    As a quick reminder, you can’t operate from an empty reserve tank. When possible, try to carve out moments for some essential solo time. Now I know you’re thinking: if you have a roommate, how are you ever supposed to do that? It’s not as difficult as you think. Below are some helpful hints for navigating shared living:

    Communication is *key* for any relationship. Although it may seem uncomfortable, declaring your needs in a respectful and thoughtful way can actually strengthen relationships. We made it easy and created a sample text to send to your roommate:

     

  • Use Code Words! Not entirely comfortable saying that you wanna fit in a quick masturbation sesh? That’s ok! Use words like “alone time” “self-care” or “me-time” instead. Or, you and your friend can create a secret word for it, I’ve personally said “take a sec” or “relax.” There’s no formula here, whatever makes you feel good.

  • Share your schedule! Keeping both (or all) of your schedules front and center can help you plan your solo sessions accordingly without worrying about a walk-in. Affix a white board to your dorm door to keep track of your cummings and goings, so to speak.

    In conclusion, self-care should not be up for negotiation. As you explore and navigate the newness and thrills of college, make sure to take some time to major in pleasure :) 
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    HOW TO BUILD THE ULTIMATE HOOK-UP KIT

    Let’s build that kit! When venturing outside of solo sessions into partner territory, we recommend some key tools and products to keep it adventurous, fun, and most importantly: safe. 

    • Condoms & Dental Dams: Condoms and dental dams are a must-have when it comes to building the ultimate hook-up kit. Having safe and informed sexual encounters is shown to improve confidence, a key ingredient to having incredible casual sex.
    • A Trusty Bullet Vibrator: If you’re looking to level up your sexual encounters, a bullet vibrator is a great solution. These small and portable pleasure devices are great for external stimulation of the nipples, clitoris, frenulum, and perineum. Just make sure you pick up a toy cleaner to keep your vibe clean and free from bacteria between use.
    • Cock Rings & Performance Enhancing Supplements: We’re all familiar with the anxiety that comes with casual hook ups. Non-vibrating, silicone cock rings and performance enhancement supplements are small and portable tools for enhancing sexual performance and improving confidence.
    • Bondage Tape: You can MacGyver just about any restraint system with a role of bondage tape. This versatile and portable sexcessory will make for a seriously steamy encounter, and because it only adheres to itself, it's easy to place and remove. Find inspiration for your DIY-restraints in our guide to restraints blog.
    • Lubricant: A lubricant can help make your sexual encounters more comfortable, and reduce some of the friction we associate with condoms and dental dams. Any sexual encounter can be benefited by a lubricant, which is designed to prevent painful microdermabrasion's in the skin.

    Knowledge is power and tools are powerful! As always, make sure to be communicative and express consent in all your situations. Again, this list is only a starter kit to get you on your way. If you’re looking for more, make sure to follow us on Instagram, where we’re constantly posting about our favorite products and tips. 

    Want more great sex tips?
    Follow us on InstagramTwitterFacebookTikTok, and YouTube: @LoversStores

    Further Readings:

    Masturbating with Roommates (No Not Like That!): Her Campus
    Sex on Campus- She Can Play That Game, Too: NY Times
    5 Ways COVID-19 Has Changed College Hookup Culture: Yahoo

    WITH PLEASURE,

    LOVERS