Guest written by Rain Andersen (@wearenotfriends_), a marketing and e-commerce coordinator for Lovers. Rain is a retired sex worker, pleasure advocate, and sexual wellness expert. Rain has worked in the adult entertainment industry for eight years and in the adult retail industry for four years.
Why do people enjoy anal sex? The anus is filled with nerves and fibromuscular bands that play an important role in distinguishing the difference between gasses and solids in our daily lives. It makes sense that such a sensitive area would bring people pleasure! For others, anal play appeals to our emotional and psychological kinks. You can’t have good anal sex without being a little vulnerable; and for this reason, many people like to use anal sex as a special treat or reserve it for special people. In this blog, we'll be exploring the world of pegging- a type of anal play where the prostate is stimulated by an enthusiastic partner, typically with a strap-on harness and dildo. Continue reading to learn more about this popular style of partnered sex.
QUICK LINKS:
- What is Pegging?
- What Do I Need to Enjoy Pegging?
- What are the Best Pegging Positions?
- How Can I Make Anal Sex More Comfortable?
Pegging 101
Let’s take a look at some of the basics of pegging to see how we can use this information to orchestrate a great beginner pegging experience.
Pegging is a two-person activity that involves penetrating a partner’s rectum with a dildo. A distinction can be made between pegging and other forms of anal stimulation with a dildo, because the primary goal of pegging is to stimulate a partners prostate muscle. The prostate muscle is located approximately four inches inside the rectum on people with penises. People interested in pegging will often explore with their fingers before incorporating a partner- this allows you to familiarize with this new sensation and the areas that are most responsive to touch.
PRO TIP: An underwear style harness offers less adjustability, but can be an excellent option for couples that are looking for improved control. Underwear style harnesses hold the toy closer to the body, providing extra support and comfort during use. Bonus Tip: they are machine washable.
What are the Best Pegging Positions?
There are many things that can influence a persons pegging experience including rhythm, depth, and angle. These are important factors to consider when first pegging a partner. The doggie style position is a popular choice for pegging because it allows the giver to have a greater range of motion and control. If you are just beginning to explore anal play, we recommend positions that put the receiver in control.
PRO TIP: Missionary sex is a great option for beginners. In this position, the person being penetrated can lower their body onto the dildo at their own pace, making adjustments to the angle of the dildo as they move down.
What Do I Need to Peg My Partner?
To peg your partner, you’ll need a comfortable strap-on harness, a modestly sized dildo, and a water-based lubricant. An anal relaxer like Intimate Earth’s Daring is an optional enhancement, that can help to widen the sphincter muscles and prepare it for entry. Strap-on harnesses come in many styles. Couples who are interested in sharing a harness can opt for something adjustable like the Her Royal Harness Regal Queen and the Latigo Leather Entry-Level Strap-On. I love to recommend the Em Ex harnesses to anyone who is seeking more control over their thrusts; this underwear style harness will keep your toys standing at attention, so-to-speak. If this is your first time pegging, opt for a shorter dildo or a harness-able anal plug to keep penetration comfortable.
PRO TIP: Try wearing your harness and dildo around your house. The more comfortable you are with the way a dildo hangs and moves, the better you’ll be able to control your thrusts.
How Can I Combat Some of my Discomfort with Anal?
It can be difficult to overcome some of the conditioning we’ve experienced related to our anuses. When we grow up, we are told that our anus is an area that expels waste. We are told to apologize for natural bodily occurrences if they happen to get out of our control, and in some cases, we deny these occurrences outright. It’s perfectly normal to feel some discomfort when someone tells you that your butthole is a magical pleasure zone- contradicting everything you’ve been told as a child. Anal relaxers (not desensitizers) can be used to help your body feel more receptive to penetration, but you may find that the best way to ease into anal is to take your time. Give your body plenty of opportunities to explore, and do it at your own pace. Your partners can help you to feel more comfortable by helping to create a relaxing setting- offering you a massage or drawing up a hot bath can be great ways to relax you physically and mentally.
PRO TIP: The anal canal is not self-lubricating. Always use a lubricant when stimulating the rectum to prevent painful tears and abrasions.
With these great insights, we hope that you'll feel more confident with finding the perfect sex toy for your goals, budget, and lifestyle! Looking for more 101 content? You can find our favorite 101-Guidebooks in our blog, A Modern Sex Education.
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Further Readings:
6 Women Describe Pegging Their Partners: Cosmopolitan
Everything You Need to Know About Pegging: Refinery29
How to Make Anal Sex More Comfortable: EliteDaily
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