Dana (@danathehardway) is the lead copywriter for Lovers. She is passionate about writing, allyship, sex-positivity, and telling good jokes.
In recent years, anal play and sex has been increasing in popularity - rising among most demographics. Yet, despite this, the stigma and misconceptions appear to remain. Below, we break down the top five myths around anal sex- plus, some evidence for why it can be really enjoyable!
- Do Women Enjoy Anal Sex?
- Is Butt Sex Painful? Is Butt Sex Safe?
- Will Butt Sex Effect How I Poop?
- Do I Need to Wear a Condom During Anal Sex?
- Is Anal Sex Only for Gay Men?
- The Best Sex Toys for Butt Sex
Myth #1 : Do Women Enjoy Anal Sex?The truth: Anal is for everyone! Many people with vulvas can enjoy getting down from behind. If you’re a fan of Sex and the City, you might be familiar with the iconic “up the butt” scene; four women, taking a taxi ride and thinking out loud: who even does anal, and is it too taboo? That was in the 90s. Well, around 40% of the current population would be dubbed the “up-the-butt-girl.” In fact, “94 percent of women who received anal sex in their last encounter said they reached orgasm— a higher rate of orgasm than was reported by women who had vaginal intercourse or received oral sex,” according to Slate. Like any sexual experience, safety, comfort, and communication can make booty play a pleasurable experience- and there’s zero shame in it!
"At least one in three straight women in the U.S. has tried it at some point in her life, although only about 13 percent had tried it in the last year." - Bustle
Myth #2: Is Anal Sex Painful? Does Anal Hurt?
The truth: With any kind of penetration, communication and pace is key. Plus, with the right lube and muscle relaxation, anal can be extremely enjoyable. Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t have natural lubricant, so lube is definitely an essential addition. Water-based lubes are safe to use with condoms and sex toys (bonus!) and are slick enough to make things move smoothly. Lightweight silicone lubricants are safe to use with condoms and leave less of a mess, but are not suitable for silicone sex toys. Check out our Lube Guide for more information!
If you’re interested in exploring lubes specifically formulated for anal, we recommend Pjur Analyse Me Anal Glide- the natural jojoba moisturizes and smooths the skin, which allows the anal muscle to relax. The anus is a muscle that needs relaxing to allow comfortable penetration, no matter what it’s receiving. It’s okay to feel nervous! Be patient, do it at your own comfortable pace, and ease into it.
Myth #3: Will Anal Sex Effect How I Go to the Bathroom?
The truth: If you’re taking the time for foreplay, using lube, and staying hydrated, you should have no issues with your digestive system. Plus, eating a healthy amount of fiber allows for systems to run smoothly! So, make sure to drink your water and eat your greens if you’re thinking about making anal a regular activity. (It’s also just healthy for you!) If you're really concerned about poop, try a douche beforehand.
Myth #4: Do You Need to Wear a Condom When Having Anal Sex?
The truth: Yes, you absolutely do. Despite there being a nearly zero chance in getting pregnant from anal, it does carry some other risks. The UK's National Health Service website states that "anal sex has a higher risk of spreading STIs than many other types of sexual activity". This is because the lining of the anus is thin and can easily be damaged, which makes it more vulnerable to infection." A wide array of condoms can be found on our website- in addition to safety, another benefit is that they allow for a smoother entrance into the anus!
Myth #5: Is Anal Sex Only For ‘Male-To-Male’ Intercourse?The truth: all humans, regardless of sexual orientation or gender, can enjoy anal. No matter how you identify, the physiological potential to orgasm is immense!
- While some women can orgasm from anal sex alone, others require clitoral stimulation.
- Some men can also orgasm from receiving anal penetration.
- Some women can also orgasm while using a strap-on to anally penetrate their partner.
Remember: anal doesn’t have to just be anal. Giving, receiving, pegging, rimming, using fingers, and sex toys are all welcome additions to the experience. Part of the fun is the discovery, isn't it? Think of this as your own sexual world to create and feel pleasure together.
The Best Sex Toys & Essentials For Anal Sex
Daring Anal Relaxing Serum, $26.50
Daring Anal Relaxant Serum for Men is formulated with natural, vegan ingredients to relax your anal cavity. We recommend putting a pea size amount on your finger and massaging your anus gently before playtime begins. Apply more as necessary.
The only water based anal relaxing glide on the market! Infused with all natural clove. Super-thick non drip formula relaxes but does not numb. Can be used with silicone toys!
Lovers Joy Stick Thruster, $99.00
The Joy Stick Thruster is a multi-purpose sex toy that can be used vaginally or anally. The textured base is designed to vibrate against the clitoris or perineum, for dynamic, full body orgasms. Hand control over to a partner with the Joy Sticks optional 10-speed remote, made for public and private play.
Le Wand Hoop Massager, $145.00
The Hoop Massager is a crescent shaped wand designed for targeted stimulation. It's waterproof, stainless, and non-porous material guarantees a lifetime of use, impervious to unpleasant scents and bacteria. Perfect for G-Spot stimulation, prostate play, and sensual massage, the Hoop massager's double-sided design incorporates textures that appeal to every body. Le Wand's Stainless Steel Collection has a wonderful, weighty sensation. The Hoop Massager weighs approximately 1.39 pounds.
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The 30 Biggest Misconceptions About Anal Sex: Cosmopolitan
The Dirty Details of Anal Sex: Refinery 29
The Grotesque Anal Sex Trend You've Always Wanted: Jezebel