Guest Written by Bobby Box (@bybobbybox) is a freelance writer and editor whose work on sex and culture has been published in countless publications, including: Playboy, Elle, NewNowNext, Billboard, Daily Beast, Them., The Advocate, Women’s Health, Mel Magazine and AskMen.
Once a token act among the gays, it seems everybody and their grandmother is into butt stuff these days. While anal sex is most definitely normalized in modern society, has rimming been given the same respect? Turns out, yes.
According to a survey from LGBTQ healthcare center, Bespoke Surgical, the average American performs analingus two times a month, and this number was exponentially higher among lesbians, bisexuals and gay men who performed the act 5.9, 3.3 and 2.7 times a month, respectively.
Chances are, these figures have only increased, since “anal play” was voted the most popular kinky quarantine activity in a survey by Bad Girls Bible. So since we all have butts and we can enjoy the cheek-spreading pleasures of rimming, here’s a lesson to get you started.
- What Is Rimming?
- What Does Rimming Feel Like?
- Is Rimming Safe?
- What Are The Best Positions for Rimming?
- How to Give a Rim Job: A Step-by-Step Guide
- The Best Products for Enhancing Rim Play
To be blunt, it’s eating ass. But as is true with most colloquial phrasing regarding sexual acts, it’s inaccurate. You’re not eating an ass with a fork and knife, of course; that’s cannibalism. What you’re actually doing is orally stimulating the anus by licking, sucking, nibbling, kissing and penetrating in and around the area.
For the scholars out there, rimming is also known as analingus. For the vegetarians, tossing the salad.
The anus is loaded with sensitive nerve-endings that are responsive to different types of stimulation like vibration, pressure, temperature and touch. Beyond feeling fantastic (think: a warm, wet massage on a most sensitive erogenous zone), rimming can also help people relax into receptive anal sex and “open up” as it can relieve tension in the pelvic floor and/or anus.
Of course, there are risks in any sexual act, and since you’re putting your mouth and tongue on someone’s ass, run-of-the-mill STIs like syphilis, herpes, HPV, gonorrhea, as well as Hepatitis A and B can be transmitted.
Bacterial infections like E.coli and salmonella as well as a microscopic parasite known as giardia can be transmitted via rimming as well. If you go from ass to vagina, vaginal infections can occur. Generally speaking, it’s best to avoid rimming if your sexual partner is experiencing IBS or symptoms of a possible stomach bug.
The best way to limit or avoid the above ailments is to thoroughly clean and rinse the area 30 minutes to an hour prior to sexual activity, rinse with mouthwash after (studies suggest this mitigates the risk of STIs), and use barrier methods like a dental dam. (If you don’t have one, make one: just cut the tip off of a condom and slice it lengthwise down the middle.)
Ideally, you want to be in a position where you’re both comfortable and the recipient's ass is easily accessible. The most common position for rimming has the recipient on their backs. For easier access, they should lift their knees toward their chest and place a pillow under their hips to elevate their bums.
The second position is the doggy or downward dog position, where the recipient is on their hands and knees with their bums lifted in the air. Of course, you could also eat ass while standing, leaning on a counter, or squatting on their face. Rimming is also quite comfortable in the 69 position, provided the recipient is on top.
As is true with most matters of the butt, you need to start slow. That’s because bums, like yours truly, require some romancing in order to win it over. Start by kissing and teasing around the hole, running your tongue along the perineum, the cheeks, the crack, all of the places. Then, as anticipation builds, stimulate the hole with your tongue using slow, circular motions.
Make them crave more.
As your partner relaxes, switch up the technique. A general rule of thumb is to make out with the hole, or use similar techniques as you would when performing cunnilingus. Read their cues (moans, body language, etc.) and see which techniques are working for them and which to bench. FYI: enthusiasm and compliments go a long way.
Soften the tongue and lap it up like an ice cream cone, then flex your tongue and penetrate. Flick the hole with the tip of your tongue and/or swirl your tongue around in circles and half-circles. Experiment with different speeds and pressures. And when your jaw gets tired (because it will), you can place a vibrating sex toy on the hole and/or perineum and give yourself a break.
Of course, you don’t need to just target the hole. In fact, you shouldn’t. Provided you’ve been given consent, spank and nibble the cheeks, lick from crack to taint, spread the cheeks, and dig in deep. If you have facial hair, gently rub it on the area for a change in texture. The options are limited only by your imagination.
The Ultimate Cleaning System ($29)
The Ultimate Cleansing System is an easy to use cleanser for your intimate play experience. This system is designed for sensual intimate hygiene and is suitable for first-time and experienced users. The flexible cleaner is designed to perfectly contour to your body. With a flexible multi-directional nozzle and angled tip, you get the most precise cleaning.
Intimate Earth Vegan Oral Glides ($18.50)
Intimate Earth Flavored Lubricants are made with stevia, for a natural and realistic taste that is never sticky or tacky. These vegan pleasure glides are perfect for enhancing your partners natural flavor without masking it. Unlike other oral glides, Intimate Earth's formulas highlight the taste of bodily fluids- they never cover them up! Here, we showcase the Intimate Earth Salted Caramel blend. When using this one for rimming we like to call it a 'salted rim.'
Lubricant Launcher ($12.50)
The lubricant launchers narrowed injector makes it easy to jump into anal or vaginal play by lubricating hard to reach areas. The convenient finger grips allow for precise insertion with an attractive, ABS plastic casing.