Guest written by Rain Andersen (@wearenotfriends_) a veteran sworker with eight years in adult entertainment and three years working for Lovers.
In order to unearth the details of this elusive kink, we need to explore the complexities of consensual/non-consensual sex. By virtue of its name, the “forced” orgasm suggests something compulsory, unnatural, or against our will. The term “forced orgasm” is a polysemy, indicating that it has different meanings in different settings. In the scientific and legal community, “forced orgasm” describes an orgasm that occurs during an assault. In the BDSM community, a forced orgasm describes a consensual orgasm instigated by one or more individuals. For the purpose of this article, we will be focusing on the latter.
The concept of forced orgasms was born from the BDSM community, whose ethos is informed by the Safe, Sane, Consensual principle. Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC) means that all activities are safe, all participants are sound of mind, and they enthusiastically consent. We will be using elements of SSC throughout this guide to help shape the ultimate forced orgasm experience.
1) What is a Consensual Forced Orgasm?
2) How do I Provide a Consensual Forced Orgasm?
3) How do I Have a Consensual Forced Orgasm?
4) What are the Best Tools for Consensual Forced Orgasms?
5) The Top 5 Sex Toys for Forced Orgasms
6) The Top 5 BDSM Accessories for Forced Orgasms
A consensual forced orgasm is triggered when an individual’s ability to resist stimulation has been limited, often with the aid of a restraint system or compromising sex position. It is an orgasm that has been pre-negotiated and consented to, in an effort to satisfy a physical or emotional craving.
The root of this kink is connected to our desires for pleasure- a pleasure that is relentless and involuntary, regardless of our mood or attitude.
Those who identify as “brats,” “degradees,” or “exhibitionists” may find something compelling about the practice of forced orgasms due to the submissive nature of the activity.
How Do I Provide a Consensual Forced Orgasm?
It is important to note that the benefactor of a forced orgasm scene derives pleasure as well. Arousal and pleasure are linked to the satisfaction of others, particularly when we play a participatory role. When conducting a forced orgasm scene, you’ll want to discuss what your partners vision entails. Are they looking for a long, drawn out session, or something quick and dirty? Would they prefer a variety of sensations, or do they want attention focused on one region? Allocate enough time to address your partners sexual wish list and consider investing in some sex toys to balance the workload. Forced orgasms are meant to be overwhelming to your partner, but it shouldn’t mean you have to break a sweat. Keeping a calm and focused demeanor helps to center the experience around your partners orgasm.
How Do I Experience a Consensual Forced Orgasm?
Before committing to a forced orgasm, discuss why this kink excites you. Being able to distinguish which elements will have the most impact, can help your partner to navigate your experience. If your interest stems from lack of control, perhaps some restrained foreplay is the best approach for lengthening your session. If the idea of ceaseless and abundant orgasms inspires you, then a variety of sex toys might help to flow from one orgasm to the next. Once you have established your goals you can begin to formulate a safe word for your scene. A safe word can be used at any time to halt stimulation. If you plan to incorporate gags, blindfolds, or other sensory restrictive gear, then you might consider adopting a hand signal or blinking pattern to alert your partner of any hard limits.
What are the Best Products for Consensual Forced Orgasms?
Forced orgasms, like any sexual activity, can be enhanced with the right sex toys. We'll be sharing a few of my favorite sexual aides for forced orgasms. With these products, you can create your own orgasmic torture kit customized to your kinks, comforts, and goals. Don’t forget the essentials that can make these moments unforgettable: lubricant, stimulants, and blindfolds are capable of enhancing the senses so that every touch counts.
Fun Factory Vim ($169)
The Magic Wand is arguably the most iconic power tool in the sex industry. Because of its overwhelming power and generous surface area, the wand has become a mascot to forced orgasms. The Fun Factory Vim takes this a step further- with a textured head, designed to hold and distribute lubricant as you play. The Vim Wand is 50% quieter & 32% lighter than the leading wand vibrator, allowing you to play with a wide range of settings from gentle to strong.
Thrust and Go Travel Thruster ($139.00)
We won’t find it rude if you stare. The Thrust and Go offers a visually satisfying layer to your forced orgasm experience. Affix this sex toy to any flat smooth surface to add a layer of humiliation to your role play. Your partner will be at your mercy with this mountable sex machine, that provides robust half-inch thrusts. With two attachments to choose from, you can gratify your partner in more ways than one.
We-Vibe Melt ($149)
The We-Vibe Melt is a pleasure air device that provides 360 degrees of pressure-air to the clitoris. Its all-encompassing diaphragm provides touchless stimulation to a rich network of nerve endings beneath the clitoral hood. Its users boast an average use time of 30 seconds to 5 minutes, making it a number one contender in multi-orgasmic forced climaxes.
This stroker is a little… different. The transforming masturbation sleeve contains two, rumbly motors that stimulate the entire head of the penis. The buttery smooth material glides easily from tip to base, with up to three shapes to play with. Disconnect the folding panel at the top of this sleeve to create an open-ended channel, perfect for combination blow-jobs. The blend of oral stimulation and vibration will send your partner to the edge, again and again.
Under the Bed Restraints ($79.00)
If you had to own one restraint, the Under the Bed Restraints would be it. This four-point restraint system restricts movement from head to toe, with two ankle cuffs and two wrist cuffs. Spread your partners limbs from corner to corner to get prime access to their favorite erogenous zones.
Labia Spreader ($24)
Time for full exposure! This labia spreader is a great addition to your humiliation play, roleplay, or any other wicked fantasies you want during playtime. The Labia Spreader's adjustable straps are designed to wrap around your subs thighs, with supple vegan-leather that offers a supportive and comfortable hold. Rubber is wrapped around the tips of the metal clams for comfort and safety.
Door Jam ($69.00)
The Door Jam Sex Sling is the type of restraint system that amasses wide eyed stares and whispers. This sex accessory may look complicated, but I assure you it’s as simple as locking your door. The Door Jam supports up to 325 pounds, so you can stay suspended in orgasmic bliss. It pairs wonderfully with the Thrust and Go Sex Machine, for those who wish to voyeur.
Liberator Fascinator Throw ($139.00)
There is something delightful about the looks exchanged when laying out a Liberator Fascinator Throw. Ambition and excitement are almost palatable when it comes to using this fluid resistant blanket. You know its about to get messy… and that’s cool. We love that for you.
Doggie Style Strap ($22.00)
The Doggie Style Strap provides a hands-on approach to the forced orgasm. The simple but effective positioning strap can rest along your partners stomach to hoist them closer to your body. Provide full, deep penetration with this leveraging device, designed for deeper more aggressive thrusts during doggie style sex.