LOVE, SEX, & MASTURBATION: A MEMOIR

Dana (@danathehardway) is the lead copywriter for Lovers. She is passionate about writing, allyship, sex-positivity, and telling good jokes.

If you’ve ever watched an episode of Sex And The City, you’ve probably briefly considered what it would be like to record your sexual adventures the way Carrie does for her column. Not necessarily to share with the world or try to get your face on a bus (does anyone’s face look good blown up to that size?), but to remember them in all their joyous, poignant, hysterical, awkward glory. Perhaps to make sense of what you were feeling in those moments or find patterns in how you show up in certain situations.

Journaling is known for its many benefits and when it comes to something as multi-faceted as sex and intimacy, the perks of this self-care act are surely tenfold. Some of the most applicable benefits we felt related most closely to specifically recording your sexual escapades, love stories, and hookups were things like:

• Stress relief (stress is the enemy of orgasms)
• Self-reflection (when you know better, you do *it* better)
• Creativity (sex is alllll about finding new ways to feel pleasure)
• Developing a mindfulness practice

This last one is the most important. Sex, erotic play, intimacy, whatever pleasure filled activities you’re partaking in, are the most enjoyable when you are fully present in the moment. This can be hard for all types of people for all types of reasons. Journaling can be a great way to begin building a practice of mindfulness and presence and we think there’s no better place to apply that than in the bedroom. If you’d like to read more about mindfulness and sex, check out our Conscious Sexuality blog.

Here’s where this article gets truly exciting:

From January 10th to February 26th, 2022, when you buy any full-price We-Vibe toy at Lovers, we’ll give you a Love, Sex & Masturbation: A Memoir journal for free! You can get the journal when you shop both online and in-stores while supplies last. What better time to start that sex journal than after you use your new We-Vibe vibrator or air pulse toy?

Need some more ideas to get you started with your new journaling habit? We got you!

• Create a word cloud: Write down as many words as you can think of in 2 minutes that you associate with sex. What do you think of this group? What does this say about your views about sex?
• Tell the story of your first sexual experience or first romantic sexual partner. Try to describe what all five of your senses were experiencing.
• How do you nurture your personal sexuality or sensuality? Is there more you’d like to do? 
• If you could have the perfect sex life, what would that look like? Feel like? What steps could you take to move towards that vision?
• What is your definition of sex? What is your definition of intimacy? Do you believe they have to be linked? Why or why not?

Further Readings:

Why a Sex Journal Might Work for You & How to Make One: SELF
Journal Prompts for Sexual Self Discovery: Froetic Sexology 
A Couple Journaled About Sex for a Year & Transformed Their Relationship: Elite Daily

WITH PLEASURE,

LOVERS