I BROKE UP WITH MY BOYFRIEND AND BOUGHT A WOMANIZER

Guest written by Missy Modell, a musical parody artist and activist focused on the intersection of social justice and pop culture. Missy is the founder of YES MAM Creative, a consultancy for mission-based brands. You can find Missy on Instagram at @missymodell.

Hi. I am writing in real time, just mere moments after my first Womanizer experience. Now, when there is SO much hype around anything, it very rarely matches one's expectations. I am here to tell you, my expectations have been met, surpassed, expanded upon, et al. Quite honestly, will I ever be the same? Probably not.

"I almost couldn’t believe how little I had to do to feel so much!"

Allow me to elaborate. I have never used a pulsator toy before. All my vibrators have been of the “standard” wand variety. Despite my affinity for switching things up and novelty, I haven’t really ventured outside of this basic vibe category. After going through a recent breakup, I found myself wanting to reconnect with my sexuality in a more meaningful way. Asking myself: how can I continue to feel like a sexual, empowered being without a partner? Maybe you can relate, but I have always felt like in order to truly “express” myself in this way, I needed someone to validate that for me. 


Womanizer Premium ($199)

Now, I want to try something different. Rather than look for, settle, or squander my energy, I am very happy to divert my energy to exploring this amazing tool and all the different sensations my body has, for me. So, let’s get into some basics:

Why The Womanizer Premium?

Aside from being one of the world’s greatest inventions (and my new night table staple), at a foundational level, it’s a sex toy designed for clitoral orgasm. It uses a Pleasure Air technology with gentle suction that legitimately feels like oral sex. I almost couldn’t believe how little I had to do to feel so much! 

  • It is super comfortable to use. Made of a very velvety, soft silicone, this ergonomic handle doesn’t cramp my hands or make me feel like I have the beginnings of a carpal tunnel! Win for all.
  • It’s quiet. This sex toy has a Smart Silence Function which makes your sessions extremely discreet. Bonus: it only turns on when touching your skin - this was one of my favorite parts! For some reason, it reminds me of when you exit a room and the lights automatically shut off. Luxurious AND hot. 
  • The setting options are endless. By endless, I mean 12 of them (which is pretty endless for a sex toy)! I’ve heard that people who use the Womanizer can orgasm in two minutes flat - this wasn’t the case for me. It took me a bit longer to get my bearings and arrive at the settings that I felt worked. But trust me, worth the discovery period. Also, there’s apparently an autopilot feature that switches up the settings for you. Haven’t tried it yet, but definitely something to explore when wanting to do things shuffle-mode! 


The Golden Moments Kit ($299)

I do want to preface that this is an investment. The Womanizer Premium is on the expensive side of the spectrum ($199) and very much a premium vibrator. That being said, I would equate this to buying an investment piece for your closet - you’ll have it for a long time, it makes you feel really sexy, but it also happens to give you an orgasm! 

“It was as if a symphony of small hands, lips and mouths were circulating around my clit.”

After using this toy, I don’t know if I can ever really look back. Just as a reminder: I immediately had to sit down and document my experience - it was that profound. I’ve already convinced several friends to purchase it and to my delight, they have all reciprocated my sentiments. 

I can now say with certainty that this has transformed the way I view masturbation; and even further, my own relationship to my body. Nothing is more empowering than being able to give *myself* pleasure - with, or without a partner. So go forth, (if you’re able), and consider this an investment for you and your future pleasure. You deserve it.

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Further Readings:

Study Shows that the Womanizer Can Treat Orgasmic Difficulty: PR Newswire
Why Everyone is Obsessed with Womanizer: Glamour Magazine
The Best Clit Sucking Toys, Ranked: VICE Magazine

WITH PLEASURE,

LOVERS