Guest written by Rain Andersen (@wearenotfriends_) a veteran sworker with eight years in adult entertainment and three years working for Lovers.

In 2018, TENGA Co. Ltd. conducted a global self-pleasure report. TENGA surveyed more than 13,000 respondents from over 18 different countries in one of the largest surveys ever conducted on masturbation. This survey revealed that only 18% of U.S. respondents felt it was important to talk about masturbation with people they are close with. With so few conversations centered around self-pleasure, it can be difficult to know where to begin.

Masturbation has been linked to innumerable health benefits and a more satisfying sex life, but perhaps its greatest benefit is its ability to inform us of our desires. In this blog, we are breaking down the techniques that have been popularized by individuals with vulvas throughout time.


  • Add a Lubricant: 9 out of 10 individuals with vulvas reported that sex felt more comfortable and pleasurable with the aid of a lubricant, as reported in The Journal of Sexual Medicine (2013).
  • Consider Buying a Sex Toy: Vibrators are designed to do what our hands cannot. Once you’ve identified the type of stimulation you enjoy, consider looking into a sex toy!
  • Play the DJ: Experiment with different directions of touch and motion to find what feels best.
  • Take It Off (Or Don’t): Some individuals who prefer grinding and humping might enjoy the added stimulation that a layer of clothing brings.
  • Keep It Handsy: Try experimenting with more then one finger, or use both hands to stimulate multiple erogenous zones at once.
  • Manage Your Time: Do you prefer consistent, rhythmic, or surprising touches? Consistent touches imply that the touch is focused and reliable, while rhythmic touches vary in style and speed. Surprising touches are an unexpected combination of both consistent & rhythmic touch that always promises to excite!
  • Hold Up: Foreplay helps to prepare your body for orgasm by peeling back the hood of the clitoris to expose all 8,000 of its glorious nerve endings. Start by providing indirect stimulation to the vulva, with slow and gentle touches. Pick up the speed, pressure, and intensity as you become more aroused.
  • Find Your Power Stance: Find the positions that feel best for you. Many individuals prefer to masturbate on their back or stomach, but you might also enjoy masturbating while sitting up, masturbating in the shower, or even in front of a mirror!
  • Take a Deep Breath: Remember that confidence is a result of practice.


  • The Elevator: Apply direct pressure to the clitoris in an up and down motion.
  • Tinder Swipe: Apply direct pressure to the clitoris in a side-to-side motion.
  • Orbiting: Apply pressure to the clitoris in a circular motion, or circle the area around the clitoris to tease it.
  • Grazing: Use your knuckle to gently sweep along the surface of the clitoris and repeat.
  • Peace Pinch: Use two fingers (in the shape of a peace sign) to hug the sides of the clitoris as you rub.
  • Grinding: Provide indirect pressure to the clitoris by rubbing against a pillow or blanket.
  • Palming: Use your palm to cup the vulva, massaging along the sides to provide indirect stimulation to the clitoral legs.
  • Pulsing: Keep stimulation in one specific area, letting it resonate outwards.
  • Accenting: Increase pressure over a specific zone of the clitoris. Many women report that the left side of their clitoris is more sensitive than the right!
  • Layering: Provide indirect stimulation to the areas surrounding the clitoris to bring yourself to orgasm.


  • G-Spot: The G-Spot is located approximately 2-3 inches inside the vaginal canal. At peak arousal, the G-Spot will engorge from the size of a pea to the size of a walnut. This textured and spongy muscle can be stimulated by hooking the fingers into the roof of the vaginal canal and applying pressure with a rhythmic tapping or gentle come hither motion.
  • A-Spot: The A-Spot stands for the anterior fornix spot- an erogenous zone located between the cervix and bladder (about two inches past the G-Spot). Individuals who enjoy deep penetration and larger penetrative tools may be familiar with this part of the anatomy. Because of its proximity to the anal canal, you can stimulate the A-Spot vaginally or anally using a gentle sweeping motion. Its depth may require the assistance of a longer sex toy.
  • U-Spot: The U-Spot as it is coequally named, refers to the urethra- a small exit point for urine and other fluids. It is located beneath the clitoris and above the vaginal opening. This area can be gently stimulated with a lightly lubricated finger or tongue. Make sure to wash your hands and brush your teeth before stimulating this area to prevent the spread of bacteria.
  • Clitoral: The Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy published one of the largest studies on women’s orgasms, stating that over 36% of respondents required clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. This mysterious, wishbone-shaped muscle has only one known purpose: to provide pleasure. The clitoris can be stimulated directly, or indirectly (through external and internal massage), and is one of the few regions of the vulva that contains erectile tissue.
  • Anal: The anal sphincter is packed with rich bundles of nerves that are designed to distinguish between soft and hard stool. This network of nerve endings is the same reason so many individuals enjoy a little backdoor stimulation. Always use a lubricant when stimulating the anus to prevent painful tears and fissures in the skin (this is not a self-lubricating orifice).
  • Edging: Edging, surfing, or peaking is a sexual technique that involves the intentional delay of orgasm to bring attention to the moments leading up to climax. One way to improve the strength, intensity, and length of your orgasms is to walk the edge of your sexual response cycle. Read more about how to edge in our blog, On the Edge of Sexual Discovery.
  • Blending: A blended orgasm refers to any combination of stimulation that brings you to climax. This commonly occurs with vaginal and clitoral stimulation, but can also be achieved by stimulating other erogenous zones like the nipples or sphincter.



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