Here at Lovers, one of the things we enjoy most is helping folks learn more about what brings them pleasure and the best, safest, and most enjoyable ways to achieve their highest pleasure potential. Recently, we debuted our virtual workshop series so you can explore topics around sex and pleasure from the comfort of your own home! Our first workshop, Blowjob Tips and Tricks, details a number of ways to make fellatio more comfortable for anyone planning to use their mouth on a penis, how to build the intimacy and enjoyment for both the giver and receiver, and a number of great products that can enhance the experience even further!
If you missed it, don’t worry! We’ve detailed a few of the tips, tricks and products here! You can also find our schedule of events on our website so you can sign up and join us for future fun!
Things to remember:
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Communication and Consent. It’s SO important to remember that no one is a mind reader and being open and honest with ourselves and our partners is crucial to healthy and enjoyable sex. Check in often with your partner about what you’re both comfortable with, what you like and dislike, and how you’re both feeling before, during, and after.
- Natural body odors are normal. Don’t fret about what you smell like “down there,” as long as you’re practicing good hygiene. Your partner may even find your natural scent arousing!
- The Gag Reflex isn’t a bad thing. Your gag reflex is a survival instinct that is inherent to your body, so while it can be troublesome in this scenario, try to appreciate it for the purpose it serves. One way to help with minimizing it is to practice touching the back of your throat gently with a toothbrush everyday to accustom your body to feeling things back there.
Tips and Tricks:
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Deep Throat-ish - If you’re game to deep throat, that’s awesome! Pro tip – try the Lie Back position (see below!). It aligns the penis and throat which puts less pressure on the sides of the throat, reducing the gag reflex.
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The Lie Back Position - Lie on your back with your head at the edge of the bed or surface you are laying on, facing your partner who is standing facing you. Your eyes will be looking back at your partner, upside down. Your head will be leaned back and your throat more open in this position.
- You can also try products like Deeply Love You Throat Spray. This will numb and desensitize your throat for a short period of time to help make deep throating easier.
Deeply Love You Throat Spray: Cinnamon ($10.50)
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Multi-Stim - If you’re not quite ready to try deep throating, or it’s just not something you’re into, there are other ways to simulate this sensation. You can create a similar sensation by gripping the base of his shaft and moving your hand and mouth in rhythmic motion or using an open ended stroker toy like Zolo Pocket Girlfriend.
Zolo Pocket Girlfriend ($12.50)
- It’s Not JUST About the Penis - Stimulate the areas around the penis as you go down – the scrotum, perineum, and anus are all highly sensitive. Go for the balls! See if your partner enjoys having their testicles stimulated. It can be incredibly pleasurable. Use your tongue, mouth, and hands to see what feels good. If you both agree to a little anal penetration, start slow, one finger at a time and don’t forget a good lube. We like Pjur Back Door.
Pjur Back Door ($29.50)
- Directly Stimulate The Prostate - Supplement your blow job with a well-lubed finger or prostate toy like the Lovers Wild Bronco Prostate Massager. Make sure your partner is open to anal play before you go there. Use gentle massage and pressure on his prostate to drive him over the edge. A curved finger or toy like this plug will do most of the job for you and free up your hands.
Lovers Wild Bronco Prostate Massager ($69)
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Pleasure yourself While You’re Giving Pleasure - Just because you’re busy providing pleasure doesn’t mean you can’t also get some! Let your fingers or hands do the walking or grab your favorite vibrator or masturbator and go to town. We like the Vedo Suki.
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The Money Shot - Think about where you want your partner to cum before it gets to the critical moment. Sometimes oral is a precursor to other kinds of sex so if they are getting close slow things down and tell them to wait for it. If you are getting a good groove and you can tell your partner is about to cum get ready to use your hands if you’d like them to cum somewhere other than your mouth.
- Afterwards - Talk to your partner about ways you can both feel appreciated and extra close after orgasm. Some ways to connect include helping each other clean up, complimenting one another on parts of the experience you particularly enjoyed and cuddling. Blowjobs should be fun for both parties so don’t hesitate when it comes to adding any of these tips and tricks so you both get the most out of your time below the waist!
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