How to Attract Pleasure: Pre-Sex Rituals, Techniques, & More!

Guest written by Rain Andersen (@wearenotfriends_) a veteran sworker with nine years in adult entertainment and five years working for Lovers.

There is a sixth dimension, beyond that which is known to humankind. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. This is the dimension of imagination.

It is an area which we call the Pleasure Zone.

The Pleasure Zone is a space where anything is possible: it’s a place where people can uncover and savor the full spectrum of sensual and emotional pleasures available to them.

In this article, we’ll discuss your ability to perceive and receive pleasure. You’ll learn how to assemble a Sensual Space to attract the greatest pleasure potential, you’ll find out about the power of Pleasure Intention Setting, and you’ll hear about the best sex rituals for accessing your personal Pleasure Zone.

QUICK LINKS:

The Power of Mindfulness & Setting Intention

What is a Pleasure Intention?

How to Set the Stage for Pleasure

Creating Dedicated Pleasure Spaces
Investing In, Prioritizing, & Devoting Time to Pleasure

How to Get in the Mood: The 6 Best Pre-Sex Rituals
Shop the Pleasure Zone

The Power of Mindfulness & Setting Intentions

An intention is a mental state or a guiding principle that can compel people into action, or encourage them to stay focused on a goal or task. Intention setting empowers people to control the narrative of their experiences, creating the lens through which each situation is filtered through. The most effective way to set and follow through with your intentions is by creating a Pleasure Intention.

What is a Pleasure Intention?

Setting Pleasure Intentions can support you in overcoming sexual and non-sexual obstacles. A Pleasure Intention is a mental state or a guiding principle that is designed to result in pleasure. Setting Pleasure Intentions can help people to uncover what their bodies are truly craving, without the distraction of outside influences. Because the human brain is engineered to seek out pleasure, Pleasure Intentions can help to motivate us to accomplish our goals.

A Pleasure Intention can have a sexual or a non-sexual objective, as long as it results in a pleasurable feeling or reward. Pleasure Intentions can overlap, co-exist, and appear intermittently throughout your life. Take a look at these Intentions below to see just how varied a Pleasure Intention can be.

My Pleasure Intention is to Drink 2.7 Liters of Water a Day

My Pleasure Intention is to Experiment with Feet Play This Year

My Pleasure Intention is to Cook More Meals at Home

My Pleasure Intention is to be a more Self-Aware Sexual Partner

Setting the Stage of Pleasure

Erotic Feng Shui: Creating Dedicated Pleasure Zones
Until recently, home offered us an escape from the outside world. Now, it’s at the center of everything that we do, with the pandemic transforming parts of our homes into offices, childcare centers, and classrooms. Creating a dedicated sensual space in your home is an important aspect of being able to tap into pleasure, providing your body with the appropriate sensory cues to unwind.

Engage your senses to create the ultimate Pleasure Zone.

Sight
Mood lighting, like candles, low-watt bulbs, or warm colored lights can add a beautiful ambiance to the room and disguise blemishes. Mirrors are another way to awaken the senses, providing alternate perspectives for both partners.
Smell
Scented candles, incense, and oil diffusers are all popular ways to bring a pleasant smell into your Pleasure Zone. Some people opt to prepare an extravagant meal and let the scent waft through the entire space.
Touch
Your bed should be the space the inspires the most eroticism. For some people this means investing in a set of silky sheets or a high thread count comforter, for others it is the embrace of soft and supportive pillows. Experiment with different fabrics and textures to find the materials that most arouse you.
Sound
An erotic playlist can be a wonderful way to tune into the Pleasure Zone and set the pace for the night’s activities. Keep the evenings agenda between you and your partner, stifling the sounds of ecstasy with a bassy and energized playlist.

Sexual Start Ups: Investing in & Prioritizing Pleasure
In this day and age, time can be the largest obstacle to your pleasure. Between work, family planning, continued education, and an (admittedly strained) social life it can be difficult to negotiate the time for pleasure.

In order to manage all of these different environments and responsibilities, people create different avatars: the friend, the parent, the employee, the lover. What are your unique avatars and which of them do you use most frequently? Too often we leave our Pleasure Avatars unattended to make space for other versions of ourselves (but we don’t blame you for putting your bets on “parent” or “employee”).

What does it look like to invest in your Pleasure Avatar?

Invest in a New Sex Toy
Purchasing sex toys is a radical way to invest in your pleasure. Sex toys are specifically engineered to make you feel good, they’re designed to prevent physical harm, and they awaken the body to new and unexpected sensations. The act of owning and having access to a sex toy brings you one step closer to the Pleasure Zone.
Leave Your Vibrator Someplace Scandalous
Leaving your sex toys in plain sight is a great way to encourage some dedicated self-care time. Being able to see your sex toys activates pleasure receptors in the brain, reminding us to attend to our Pleasure Avatars.

We love leaving a vibrator inside the shower, where you can quickly tack on a Pleasure Session to your morning routine or afternoon cleanse. The natural privacy that the bathroom provides makes the shower the optimal place to squeeze in some one-on-one time.

Pencil It In
There is nothing wrong with adopting old techniques to overcome modern obstacles. For some, scheduling in “me time” is the only way to negotiate a moment alone. Without the help of our Primo Planners and our gel pens, we’d be utterly lost (I’m talking to you, Gemini).

Pre-scheduling your decent into the Pleasure Zone doesn’t have to take away the excitement from your experience. Instead of setting aside your typical “me time,” use your calendar to plan out new and exciting adventures to look forward to each week. After all, no great space expedition was launched in a single day! What tiny pleasure missions can you complete each week to get your closer to reaching your Pleasure Intentions?

Stimulate Your Largest Sexual Organ
They say that the brain is the largest sexual organ because it can be stimulated in so many different ways. Watching pornography, reading a sex education blog, or watching a Lovers Q&A are all examples of ways that we visually and psychologically stimulate that organ, making small deposits into our Pleasure Bank.

Each time you seek out information and resources about your body you’ll become more confident and invested in your pleasure. Some of our favorite sex ed resources include Lovers Events, How To Blogs, and Educational Literature.

How to Get in the Mood: The 6 Best Pre-Sex Rituals

Many people have a ritual or routine that helps them to mentally or physically prepare for sex. A 2018 study reported that 4 in 10 American’s had a pre-sex ritual, though explanations for partaking in pre-sex activities varied by gender.

Washing hands and body parts to keep them clean, securing locks to prevent children from making their unannounced debut, or wearing erotic lingerie to attract a partner’s attention are all examples of utilitarian pre-sex rituals popularized throughout history. There are many ways that you can keep pleasure the focus of your experience with these creative pre-sex rituals.

Happy Ending
“Happy ending” is a slang term that originated in the 1990’s to describe an erotic massage that ended in a sexual climax. Though climax isn’t the goal of a pre-sex ritual, we’ll use the slang term to elude to the pleasure that this pre-sex custom can offer.

Massages are the perfect storm for pleasure: they engage sensitive nerve endings, encourage relaxation, promote skin-to-skin contact, and heighten blood flow, which all help to prepare the body for continued stimulation. August Mclaughlin discusses the frequency of Massage-Gasm’s on her podcast, Girl Boner Radio, with sexual expert Dr. Megan Fleming. Dr. Fleming states that, “For a number of individuals, there are specific parts of the spine and lower back muscles, that when stimulated, there’s a release of energy as well as blood flow to the small intestines, the bladder and all of the sexual organs.”

Entering the Pleasure Zone solo? Try performing a private massage, working the massage oil into your thighs and calves. Allow your hands to explore your body, making sure not to get any oil near your genitals.

Sensual Soak
If hygiene is an important part of your sexual satisfaction (it should be), then consider this sudsy pre-sex ritual. Skip your typical speed shower and opt for a sensual, pre-sex soak, where you can casually unwind and explore. The hot water helps to relax your muscles, encouraging blood flow, and relieving tension while giving you and your partner the opportunity to clean off any sweat or bacteria as you bathe.

This pre-sex ritual eliminates the need for awkward conversations about cleanliness, and creates an opportunity to explore each other bodies in advance. Hand your partner the soap and let them wash off all the spots you can’t reach before returning the favor!

Let’s Get Ready to Rumble
A common pre-sex ritual includes running hands under warm water or turning on heaters to warm up the space in advance. These pre-sex rituals evolved to streamline the transition from clothed-to-unclothed, so that the body could adjust to a comfortable temperature.

Light wrestling, dancing, and assisted stretching are all effective ways to warm up the body, promote blood flow, encourage skin-to-skin contact, and inspire playfulness before sex. As the body warms up, partners can remove their clothing, propelling the erotic experience into its next evolution.

The Devil’s Lettuce
Smoking THC or CBD is one way that people may choose to relax or unwind before having sex. With cannabis legalized in 18 states, many people have opted for recreational edibles and flower to enhance their sexual experiences.

Though individual experiences with THC products can vary, many people report increased sensitivity, reduced anxiety, diminished penetrative pain, lowered inhibitions, and more intense orgasms (talk about rave reviews). So, sit back, spark up, and take a deep breath, because this all-natural vasodilator is the perfect precursor to your trip to the Pleasure Zone.

Game of Moans
Playing a sexy game can be a great way to unwind and ward off disruptive thoughts. At Lovers there are different styles of erotic games designed to improve communication, teach new sexual skills, encourage competitiveness, or simply get in a few goods laughs.

If you’re not quite in the headspace for sex, but open to getting there, an erotic game could be the perfect way to transition into the Pleasure Zone. Keep things fun, lighthearted, and sexy with a pre-sex round of Fuck, Marry, Kill, or get intimate with our best-selling gender-neutral Mind, Body Soul Game.

Billet-Doux
If a massage, bath, or game sound like a time investment (hint: they are) you might consider planting the seeds for intimacy earlier in the day, spreading out those moments of pleasure into bite-sized portions. Sexting, sensual selfies, and hand-written love notes are some ways to inspire curiosity, desire, and intrigue in a partner prior to sex. They can also be an excellent way to gauge your partners emotions before play, or communicate and set a base level for your own mental state.

Does this moment call for softness or is this the perfect time to try something new and creative? Because sexting is a communicative activity, it creates opportunities to lay out the groundwork for your next sexual experience.

Still looking for ways to loose yourself to pleasure? Shop our favorite items for your next trip to the Pleasure Zone below!