Guest written by Missy Modell, a musical parody artist and activist focused on the intersection of social justice and pop culture. Missy is the founder of YES MAM Creative, a consultancy for mission-based brands. You can find Missy on Instagram at @missymodell.
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No season lasts forever.
What is Cuffing Season?
The Urban Dictionary classifies cuffing season as a time where “the cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.”
As the leaves start to turn color and fall, you might happen to notice more people falling for each other too. How romantic! But also, it’s science. Cuffing season is a joyous (or not, depending on where you stand) time when people crave connection and couple up. While it may seem like another cute trend alongside pumpkin spice lattes, there’s actually some interesting social, physiological, and emotional phenomena behind it. Starting around October, as the weather starts to turn, the urge to cozy up with someone starts to happen. With colder weather, we’re less motivated to go out and meet up with friends. Instead, many prefer to find one person to spend their time with.
“Older research suggests that as temperatures drop, natural testosterone levels rise. In other words, the rise in testosterone can make you more interested in having romantic and sexual company.” - Healthline
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Lifespan of A Cuffing
No season lasts forever. Typically starting in late fall/early winter, this courtship ends around the time the weather starts to warm up. It’s a natural inclination during brisker months to couple up not only for good quality cuddle time, but also because of the holidays, which can feel like an especially lonely experience. During colder and bleaker months, our serotonin levels also tend to go down, likely triggering an urge to be around someone.
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Red Flags: How Do You Know They’re Not Just Using You for Cuffing Season?
Now, cuffing relationships are typically meant to be short term, however, that doesn’t mean that it can’t turn into a long term situation. Compatibility will become clear soon enough. Below are some red flag questions to find out if you’ve simply been “cuffed” or they’re looking for the real deal:
- Have they rushed too quickly into this courtship in a way that seems forced?
- Are they speaking about future plans (summer, post-cuffing season?)
- Are they integrating you into their friend group?
Curious or confused? Ask! The dreaded: “what are we” or “where’s your head at” conversation can actually provide a bit of clarity around their intentions. The ball is in your court and you get to decide whether or not this works for YOU.
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How to Cuff Responsibly
Yes, we are still in a pandemic, so a good rule of thumb is to make sure your cuffing partner is on your page with all things safety. Even if this might be a seasonal rendezvous, we still want to make sure that you’re always feeling safe and seen in this experience. We recommend doing regular check-ins to see how you both are feeling and what the expectations are in this situation. Like in any intimate setting, communication is key to this, as is the setting of any boundaries you want to create.
In short, even though everyone around you is seemingly posting cute couples photos of them and a pumpkin patch, that doesn’t mean cuffing season works for you. If you’re looking for more of a genuine, emotional connection rather than having a warm body next to you, hats off! Take some time before you take the cuff plunge and figure out what you’re looking for and ensure that a momentary fling feels good.
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Further Readings:
Come for Me, Cuffing Season: Vogue
The Vice Guide to Cuffing: VICE Magazine
How to Survive Cuffing Season: Mashable
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