PREGANANCY SEX 101: A GUIDE TO GETTING IT ON DURING EVERY TRIMESTER

Kim Vopni is a certified fitness professional, an author, a passionate speaker, and a women’s health educator. Her most recent book Your Pelvic Floor launched in March 2020 and was on the bestseller list since pre-orders launched in January. Kim is the founder of Pelvienne Wellness Inc and certifies other fitness and movement professionals to work with women with core and pelvic floor challenges through her Core Confidence Specialist Certification and Pre/Postnatal Fitness Specialist Certification. You can find her on-line at www.vaginacoach.com and on social media @vaginacoach 

One of the most common questions that newly pregnant people have is ‘is it ok to have sex in pregnancy?’ or ‘will sex hurt the baby?’. The good news is that you can absolutely have sex (unless your doctor or midwife have advised you not to) and you will not hurt your baby.

Sex may look a little different and may even feel a little different as the pregnancy progresses but there are many benefits and options available to ensure this remains a pleasurable activity. 

It is common for people to feel a bit off during the first trimester with nausea and tiredness being the main complaints. The second trimester brings about a relief from the discomfort and increased energy and many even report that their libido increases during this time. The third trimester is when a bit more creativity may be needed to work around the belly.

QUICK LINKS:

1. What Does Pregnancy Sex Feel Like?
2. What are the Benefits of Pregnancy Sex?
3. What are the Risks of Pregnancy Sex?
4. Can Sex Really Induce Labor?
5. What Does Post-Pregnancy Sex Feel Like?

Sex During The Trimesters

During the first trimester, the majority of people will experience nausea which is typically called morning sickness, but truth be told…it can happen anytime and even last all day! The fluctuations in hormones can also contribute to digestive complaints, namely constipation, and not many people feel like participating in sexual activities when they are backed up and feeling woozy. Don’t stress too much. If the nausea is less during a certain time of day, you may have a window of opportunity- but sometimes just getting through the day is the main goal.  The good news is that first trimester discomforts typically subside around 12-15 weeks or the onset of the second trimester.

Sometimes, just getting through the day is the main goal.

With the second trimester comes a little more growth in the belly which may make some positions uncomfortable, and with so much change happening all the time, what is amazing one week may be a hard no the next week. Side lying positions are totally available (and side lying is a great birthing position as well so you could consider it birth prep too!). Pregnant person on top is another option for sex positions as is all four's or rear entry. Keep in mind, not all pregnant people are partnered so if your mission is solo, do whatever feels good. For those who are partnered, oral sex is always an option and is safe in pregnancy as well.

Once into the third trimester, the pregnant belly can definitely be a limiting factor for some with regards to positions but all of the same options listed above are available. As the due date nears, the energy levels may start to wane and there may be less desire for intercourse but that doesn’t have to mean less intimacy.  Skin to skin time between partners is calming and bonding and is also another important practice for new parents and baby too. After intercourse, some women notice cramping and maybe even light spotting which are both common and nothing to be alarmed about.

What Are the Benefits of Sex During Pregnancy?

During pregnancy, there is increased blood flow to the genitals which means arousal and sensation can often be increased. Cuddling, feeling loved and sex stimulates a release of oxytocin which is often called the love hormone or the feel-good hormone. Oxytocin also plays a role in childbirth and the postpartum period, so cuddle away…and if one thing leads to another, you will enjoy a boost of joy and love!

When Should Sex Be Avoided In Pregnancy?

Sex is great in pregnancy for most but there are a few exceptions. If you are at risk of preterm labor or miscarriage you may be asked to abstain from intercourse. If your waters have broken, your risk of infection is increased, so your care provider will ask you to avoid sex. Placenta previa is another possible complication and you will be asked to avoid intercourse.

Will Sex Induce Labor?

While you have probably heard this, there is in fact no evidence to show that sex will induce labor.

What Will Sex Be Like After Pregnancy?

This is a common question and worry of pregnant people. Pregnancy and childbirth are contributors to the most common types of pelvic floor dysfunction such as incontinence and organ prolapse but there is so much that can be done to reduce the risk. Learning about the pelvic floor muscles and how they can be trained to respond appropriately during birth is really important. 

There is no evidence to show that sex will induce labor.

Birth is an elimination like urination and defecation. During elimination, the pelvic floor muscles need to be able to relax. It is beneficial to have strong pelvic floor muscles but ensuring there is a balance between strength and suppleness is important to help reduce the risk of tearing. Tearing can leave scar tissue that can sometimes interfere with optimal function and may even be the source of pain during sex postpartum. Perineal massage is also an evidence based practice that can reduce the likelihood of tearing and help learn how to relax the muscles in preparation for birth.

Once the baby is born it is recommended to wait until superficial healing has finished which is typically 6 weeks. Seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist around 8 weeks postpartum is a great first step to ensuring a pain-free return to penetrative sex. It is common to have apprehensions and perhaps even a bit of discomfort the first time postpartum but the discomfort should not last. It is important to use lots of lubrication as your estrogen levels are low in the postpartum period and can contribute to vaginal dryness. There is no timeline here…it is about when you feel ready. Some people find comfort in using a pelvic wand as the first insertion post-baby. Pelvic wands can be a great self-care tool to help reduce apprehension, manipulate scar tissue and help ease any trigger points.

So there you have it.  You can say goodbye to your worries of hurting your baby or bringing on labor and enjoy the bonding time before the new little bundle arrives.

Further Readings:

20 Pregnancy Sex Positions to Try: Women's Health
A Guide to Having Sex After Giving Birth: What to Expect
Your Post-Partum Sex Drive- Why You May Have a Low Libido: What to Expect

WITH PLEASURE,

LOVERS