Guest Written by Henri-June, a non-binary trans man who makes LGBTQ+ content. Through his posts and vulnerable podcast, he shares the different realities of being trans and queer in today’s world.
As a trans person, sex can be a tricky thing to navigate. Let me introduce myself, I’m Henri-June (or just June). I’m a trans-masculine person and I worked at a sex shop in Montréal for three years. I came out as trans while I was working at the sex shop, which was the perfect setting for me to learn how to use sex toys to alleviate my gender dysphoria.
When Lovers approached me about this collaboration, I instantly thought of writing about how sex toys can be used to reduce gender dysphoria! So, Lovers sent me some sex toys. I'll share with you how I use them as a trans-masculine person.
QUICK LINKS:
Wand Massagers
Wand massagers are my favorite kind of vibrators! Why? Because they have a strong, low-pitch vibration, they are sturdy, they are usually not branded with a gender in mind, and they can come in a variety of sizes, colors, and vibrations patterns.
The Wanderlust Wand, $109.00
As a trans person with gender dysphoria, what I like about wand massagers is the distance it gives between my genitalia and my pleasure, meaning that because it’s a long, external vibrator, I can focus on my pleasure without thinking about how I don’t like my genitalia. In addition, because the handle of the wand is so long, I can stroke it in a movement mimicking how you would masturbate a penis. That way, it puts pressure on my genitalia and offers a gender-affirming visual.
Lovers sent me the Wanderlust Double Vibrator by Evolved. The cool thing about this specific wand is that both sides vibrate, that way, if you are playing with another person you can both receive pleasure at the same time. The person holding the wand on their genitalia gets the vibration plus a gender-affirming sensation. The other can hump on the vibrating handle and can even try penetration.
Trans-Masculine Strokers
A stroker is a masturbation device made for people with penises; it goes over the penis to add texture and/or suction to masturbation sessions.
Trans-masculine people have been using them for a long time, usually, the ones made for the head of the penis. Trans-owned companies started to manufacture them with trans genitalia in mind. Eventually with trans-masculine people being more and more vocal about their needs, bigger sex toy companies started manufacturing them as well, at a lower cost.
Boundless FTM 2 Inch Stroker, $18.00
Calexotics has their own “FTM (Female-to-Male) Gear” line with different devices made for trans-masculine people! The stroker that Lovers sent me came from that collection.
How do you use a stroker? It’s pretty easy... you put the opening end on your clitoris and you press down on the stroker to create a suction, that way your clitoris receives stimulation. When starting hormonal replacement therapy, your clitoris will get bigger, so if you are blessed with a big clitoris, you can also use the stroker to simply stroke your dick(clit).
Underwear Harnesses
With sexual partners, “strap-on play” can be really fun and gender-affirming for trans-masculine people. It provides distance from your genitalia and it can be really fun to look at your partner receiving penetration from an extension of your body. I recommend using underwear harnesses because they just feel more natural.
Spareparts Tomboii Packing Harness, $149.00
They may be less sturdy, but because you just put them on without having to deal with the whole strap thing, they can feel way more gender-affirming. Pairing them with a realistic dildo, like the True Feel Dildo by Adam and Eve, can take that feeling to another level, really making you feel like the extension of yourself because your dick is penetrating your partner.
Lovers sent me the Em.Ex Fit Harness by Sportsheets and it's super comfortable. I got a 2XL and it fits me perfectly. I usually wear XL in underwear, so you need to take at least a size up.
Hybrid Lube
My last gender-affirming trick has to do with lube... but how can lube be gender-affirming your ask? Let me tell you! First, you need to find a white-colored lube, like the Simply Hybrid Lube from Wicked.
Simply Hybrid Lubricant, $18.50
Hybrid lubes usually come in a white color which is useful if you want to mimic sperm! It can be intimidating at first, but try it. When you are about to orgasm, try squirting a bit of hybrid lube on yourself or your partner(s) and see how it makes you feel! You can also buy a special “squirting dildo” that can take that feeling to the next level... a dildo like the Big Shot 8 Inch Ejaculating Dildo by Evolved.
I hope those tricks will help you alleviate your gender dysphoria or help a partner when it comes to sex! Don’t forget that those tricks might not work for you and that you do not need to push yourself. They might also feel incredible- and again there is no shame in that! Hope you have a good time and take care folks!
Want more great sex tips?
Follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube: @LoversStores
Further Readings:
What is Gender Dysphoria: The American Psychiatric Association
How to Navigate Gender Dysphoria During Sex: Them.
Sex Toys, Pleasure, & Overcoming Dysphoria: Archer Magazine
Be the first to comment